I mean, thanks Padalecki, I am but don't do that. That doesn't help anyone feel better but you, for real.
Here is the truth. I'm a person, I'm fat right now. Sometimes in my life I've been skinny. Sometimes in my life I've been in the middle. Right now I'm fat.
When I was skinny I wasn't a better person. In fact, I might have been a sad person because I could only think about what I would eat on my cheat day. Sometimes I felt great, when I acheived goals that I had never been able to do before (like running my first 5K, for instance, but I wasn't skinny then-I was in-between) and when I learned how much I liked lifting weights. Those were all important things to me.
Sometimes I'm more active than others. Sometimes I work out more than other times. Sometimes I lose weight, sometimes I gain weight, sometimes I love my body and sometimes I hate my body. I have hated my body when i was skinny and I have hated my body when I was fat. I have loved my body when I was skinny and when I was fat. I've had eating disorders (like convincing myself that my food was growing mold on it and I couldn't eat any more when I was in high school- I didn't realize how messed up that was until years later when I read about a character with a severe eating disorder doing the same thing) I've done extreme exercise programs and eat completely clean. I've done extreme diets (the Whole 30 anyone?) I've binged on chips (yum) and pizza (yum) and beer (yum) and wine (yum). I've done it all.
So: What are you thinking right now? Do you feel sorry for me that I can't get it together? Well, don't worry about it. I don't feel bad for me at all. I feel great. Here's what I've realized: Even if I lose weight I will always be a fat person. I love bad food. I love being sedentary. I also love working out -right now I'm working out more than I have in a while, but not because I hate myself. Now it's because I love this body and love seeing what I can do. I also have more time, older kids, I work outside the home, and I really want to spend an hour a day doing something for myself. However, this doesn't mean that I don't sometimes feel bad (don't we all?) or mad that I can't do something (don't we all?)
This also means that I have been thinking about how to describe my body to my daughters. They are 7 and 11 and are starting to get body aware. Should I say I'm fat? Should I say I want to work out in front of them? How do I keep them from getting into that "Fat is bad" mindset? I want them to be healthy, but I don't want them to hate what their body does. So, here's what I've stopped doing. I tell them when I have frustrations with my body. If I can't do something or I don't fit in something or really any situation. I just don't assign a judgement to it. Saying I'm fat isn't a judgement on me, as long as I don't mean it in a derogatory way. It's no different than saying I have blue eyes or big boobs (which, honestly, the boobs are more of a problem than a fat butt most of the time). I explain that we all have challenges, and that's it.
Here's what you shouldn't do for your fat friend/family member/co-worker:
- Tell them that they're fat (you probably wouldn't use that word, but you know how you'd say it). I guarantee you they already know. It's impossible for them to not know that they're fat because they watch TV, look at magazines, and just generally are self aware.
- Think that you need to "save" them. Fat people are not rescue animals. Do you have something that you don't like about yourself (or something that you're just sick of hearing about from well-meaning people?) Well, imagine if your family or friends constantly were trying to fix you. If they say they want to do something or want your help, offer it. See point #1. They know they're fat.
- Tell them they should stay away from certain clothes because of their body type. Honestly, do I need to say it again? See #1. Your loved one or family member is really trying their best to find flattering clothes, just like you do. I guarantee whatever criticism you have for them they have already thought at some point in their life.
- Don't be offended for them if they point out in a matter of fact way that they are fat and it's okay. It really is. Health and fitness comes in all shapes and sizes.
- Here's what you should do: love them. Love yourself. Eat a salad, eat a damn piece of pizza, lift weights, (by the way-because of my big booty I am a BEAST when it comes to leg presses). Celebrate your friend or loved one because they are a great person. You don't love them in spite of their butt size, you love them because they add value to your life. Most of all, don't be afraid to say the word "fat." Fat is not a bad word. Let's not have another generation of girls be afraid of that word or their body shape or big muscles or doing math. Let's just be.