Boxed Wine

First of all, is it Box wine or Boxed wine...does it really matter?  No.  It does not. 

You may ask:  How much do you love your boxed wine?  Enough to take a picture of it and make an Andy Warhol-esque portrait with it. 

So, why do I love my cheap, delicious boxed wine so much more than bottled wine?  Let me count the ways:

1. It is portable.  A bladder of wine in a cardboard box is virtually indestructible and in my world (where I am completely clumsy and butter fingered and constantly tripping over my children, dog, my kids toys and random pieces of junk) I need something that will not shatter into a million pieces and stab me in the toe or heart...
2. It lasts FOREVER!  First of all, one bottle of wine is just one bottle.  When you pour a glass of wine the way I do (see below), that sucker doesn't last very long at all.  A box of wine has a great little tap on it (always go for the push button tap-not the screw top tap) and doesn't go bad.  So, in between my wine tasting group's meetings, my $13 box of wine will stay just as delicious as the first day I opened it.
3. It tastes delicious.  I think that there is nothing better than a good, smooth glass of white zinfandel.  It is fruity, sweet, smooth and delicious.
4. They serve it at restaurants and bars.  Yup.  You read that right.  Last weekend my friends and I went to several bars and restaurants in one evening.  We went to 5 different places.  In each place, I ordered the same thing.  (Yes, white Zin).  In 4 out of 5 places...the wine I got was CLEARLY Franzia...FROM A BOX!  Yes, I paid $5 for a glass of boxed wine that was arguably crappier than my boxed wine at home.  So, if it's good enough for them to overcharge me for, it's good enough for me to buy.  And, in the event that it wasn't Franzia, it was not making the case for me to spend the extra money for bottled wine, as it tasted like ass, and my delicious Vella tastes like sweet manna from heaven.

If I just paid $5 for that amount of wine, the glass had better be as big as my head.

Now that's how you pour a glass of wine, bitches!

So there are many other articles extolling the value of bottled wine and there are many others talking about other things.  Obviously, I did a lot of research before I wrote this post-I pretty much googled "Boxed Wine" and then ignored the search and started looking at the pictures associated with boxed wine-which were much more entertaining. Then I started looking at Halloween costumes based on boxed wine-which were infinitely more entertaining.

That's how I came across this thing.  Um...isn't that just a box with legs?  What is the point of taking your wine bag out of one box and putting it into another box?  You can almost hear these two douchebags talking:

Hipster Girl 1:  You know what would be so funny and ironic?
Hipster Girl 2:  You mean besides my crazy stupid plaid lumberjack prostitute look?
Hipster Girl 1:  Yeah...to drink wine out of a box because...like...it's so not cool.
Hipster Girl 2:  But, that box is really ugly.  I want it in a different box so that it looks cool while we comment on how lame it is to drink a boxed wine.
Hipster Girl 1:  Yeah.  That is so ironic and lame.  It is cool because it's so lame. 
End scene.

I hope that illuminates some things for you.  Basically, I have no idea how to end this post, so that's it.  Move along, folks.  Good night and good luck.