The 5 Stages of Moving

We recently moved from one house to a better house.  Keep in mind, it had only been 5 years since we had moved into the first house so this was supposed to be easy...

Pre-move:  Our home is  beautiful, functional, and a lovely place to life.

Stage 1.  Make the decision.
Do you want to move from here to there?  Yeah?  Okay!  Stage 1 is complete.

Stage 2. Lying to yourself.
Oh, this won't be so bad.  We just did this and child #2 was in infant!  How could it possibly be harder than that?  I mean, come on!!  Let's make a plan and get everything fixed up and get rid of everything we don't need or want to move.


Stage 3.  PANIC
AAAAHHHHH!!!  THIS HOUSE IS A DUMP!  WHEN DID WE BECOME HOARDERS!!!  HOW COULD WE HAVE LIVED IN THIS CRAP HOLE SO LONG!  NO ONE WILL EVER BUY THIS HOUSE AND WE WILL NEVER EVER MOVE!!!

Approximately 48 hours into moving.

Stage 4. Resignation:

Throw away/donate all of your non-essential items.  Use the reasoning that you never liked x, y, z in the first place.  It feels so freeing!  Now you start donating absolutely everything that you don't want to move.  The ultimate stage is when you donate car loads of items to charities and don't even want receipts.  

What?  Your Goodwill isn't in a meadow with this dress code?

Stage 5.  GTFO

You are long past the stage of caring about what needs to happen in that old shit hole.  You have a new house to fill up with your....oh... couch and three boxes of kids toys....hmmmm...well, just call it minimalist design and pretend your new philosophy is that you are free from all earthly possessions.

Now, let's all say it together.  "WE ARE NEVER MOVING AGAIN-EVER, AND WE MEAN IT THIS TIME."