My oldest daughter doesn't eat. Well, I take that back. She eats fruit, some veggies, yogurt, peanut butter and jelly/honey sandwiches, crackers, and chicken nuggets. Oh, she also likes rice with cheerios in it for some reason. However, she recently decided that she liked some Pea Soup that I had made in the Crock Pot and it was an amazing moment for us.
She was sitting at the kitchen table and we were eating the pea soup.
Olivia: Mommy, I really like this pea soup and corn bread!
Me: (very surprised) Wow! Thanks! I'm glad you like it! I think that might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me...wait, no it isn't. Do you know what is?
Olivia: What?
Me: The nicest thing you have ever said to me is "I love you!"
Olivia: I love you, too, Mommy!
How could I ask for more? She told me she liked my nutritious meal and she told me she loved me-what a great day.
Here's the recipe:
1 bag of split peas
4-8 carrots (chopped)
1 onion (diced)
1 ham hock
enough water to cover everything-possibly up to 4 cups
Instructions:
Put everything in the crock pot and cook on low for 8-10 hrs. or on high for 4-6 hours.
We always serve it with corn bread.
Enjoy!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Fear vs. Reflection...How Best to Raise Our Children
There is a debate raging inside my head about how best to raise my children. The little angel sitting on my right shoulder keeps telling me to raise them to be self-reflective, caring citizens who think about their actions and make choices based on a deep seated set of ethics. The fat, lazy couch potato devil on my left shoulder says that I should teach them to follow the rules blindly and out of fear of whatever consequences my evil brain may cook up.
On one hand, I really like the idea that my children will make choices according to a set of ethics and a feeling of empowerment. On the other hand, I want them to just automatically do what I say without questioning.
Don't get me wrong-this does not apply to all issues. Safety issues are not negotiable. There is not any ethical middle ground to running into the street. This applies to questions like should I be honest? Do I hit back? Do I share with my friends? For the most part, Olivia seems to understand that you share with friends because it makes you feel good and makes them feel good and that's one way that you show people that you care about them. However, she is only four and there is only a certain amount of self-reflection that is possible.
When the situation presents itself, however, I generally try to talk with her about what she thinks she should do in a situation and why, and what may be some alternatives. The problem with this route, though, is that she now is negotiating with me and is really good at it! It is a little scary, how logical she can be and how quickly she can put together an argument.
So, now I think that I am going to have to go the route that my mom ended up going which is a combination of reflection first then fear. She had two tools in her arsenal and they were good ones.
1. She told us that she had spies all over the neighborhood and they would be watching us. Therefore, she would always know what was going on. The scariest thing was, it was true! One day my sister crossed the road (jay walked) with no one in the road and no one around. When she walked into the house my mother called from work and told her that she knew that Steph had crossed the street...and not at the light! We were amazed and terrified by her power! For years to come, and still to this day, when faced with a choice that could be a bad one I think a. does this seem like the right thing to do? and b. if not, is it worth getting caught and getting in trouble?
2. She had a remote that would beep when a button was pushed. It had a small speaker and nothing else on it. She told us it was a lie detector and would point it at us when she asked us questions. We believed.
So, when my girls grow up, I hope they feel the same way about me that I feel about my mom. I hope, when they remember me, they think "She taught me right from wrong, and when all else failed, I sometimes made better choices because I was afraid of the wrath that would come down on me."
On one hand, I really like the idea that my children will make choices according to a set of ethics and a feeling of empowerment. On the other hand, I want them to just automatically do what I say without questioning.
Don't get me wrong-this does not apply to all issues. Safety issues are not negotiable. There is not any ethical middle ground to running into the street. This applies to questions like should I be honest? Do I hit back? Do I share with my friends? For the most part, Olivia seems to understand that you share with friends because it makes you feel good and makes them feel good and that's one way that you show people that you care about them. However, she is only four and there is only a certain amount of self-reflection that is possible.
When the situation presents itself, however, I generally try to talk with her about what she thinks she should do in a situation and why, and what may be some alternatives. The problem with this route, though, is that she now is negotiating with me and is really good at it! It is a little scary, how logical she can be and how quickly she can put together an argument.
So, now I think that I am going to have to go the route that my mom ended up going which is a combination of reflection first then fear. She had two tools in her arsenal and they were good ones.
1. She told us that she had spies all over the neighborhood and they would be watching us. Therefore, she would always know what was going on. The scariest thing was, it was true! One day my sister crossed the road (jay walked) with no one in the road and no one around. When she walked into the house my mother called from work and told her that she knew that Steph had crossed the street...and not at the light! We were amazed and terrified by her power! For years to come, and still to this day, when faced with a choice that could be a bad one I think a. does this seem like the right thing to do? and b. if not, is it worth getting caught and getting in trouble?
2. She had a remote that would beep when a button was pushed. It had a small speaker and nothing else on it. She told us it was a lie detector and would point it at us when she asked us questions. We believed.
So, when my girls grow up, I hope they feel the same way about me that I feel about my mom. I hope, when they remember me, they think "She taught me right from wrong, and when all else failed, I sometimes made better choices because I was afraid of the wrath that would come down on me."
Friday, December 4, 2009
Cloth Diapers
Cloth Diapers have changed my life. We used disposables with our oldest daughter and have used cloth virtually all the time with our youngest. We have actually found that cloth diapers are easier to use, our house doesn't smell as bad, and she has had fewer diaper rashes. Actually, had I known how easy cloth diapers are, I would have used them with our older daughter.
When we were deciding about whether or not to use cloth we had a lot to consider. The first question was how would it change our routines. We were so used to changing diapers and throwing them away that it seemed the easiest thing to do. We were concerned about our initial start up cost and my husband just didn't like the idea at all. At the time I worked in an Early Intervention program and was lucky enough to meet some moms who used cloth diapers. I asked them about their experiences and heard about the brand that we ended up using, the Bum Genius. This seemed the easiest to convince my husband about and he was amenable to the idea. We decided to ask for the diapers as our only "baby shower" present since we had so many toys, clothes etc. from our oldest daughter. Actually, we were able to register for them through maineclothdiaper.com Amazingly, we received 15 diapers as presents and have used them since she was about three weeks old. The reason we waited was because the diaper seemed to rub on her umbilical stump and although the doctor said there was no feeling there, it looked really uncomfortable to me so we used the vast supply of newborn diapers we had from the hospital. Once the stump fell off, it was go time!
There have been some negatives, though. We have a hard time finding pants to fit our littlest darling since the cloth diapers are so gigantic. Her butt looks huge with a cloth diaper on! The other negative has to do with recent developments. Now Maya is crawling and with crawling (mostly commando style) her diaper appears to fold down and she leaks pee out of the top of the diaper. Sometimes it happens when she is sleeping, too (she is a stomach sleeper). It doesn't happen all of the time-just often enough to keep us on our toes. I am hoping that as she starts replacing bottles with solid foods she will be passing less urine and the diapers will not have as much of this problem.
The other issue is laundry. I have a system in place where I go no more than two full days between diaper loads. I wash the diapers twice (once on cold and again with hot) with my homemade laundry detergent and they seem to do well. Every couple of months, I have to strip them and then they appear to be as good as new.
When Maya was about 7 months old we went camping for 5 days. We bought a package of disposables to take with us since we didn't want to trek into town to do laundry during that time. We were so used to the super-absorbancy of the cloth diapers that we could not change her diaper enough. Instead of using 5 diapers per day (cloth) we were going through 8-10 disposables. Not to mention, clothing changes. Luckily, I had over-packed so she didn't end up smelling like pee for the whole trip. She also developed a diaper rash during that camping trip. However, her shorts did fit for the first time that summer.
I highly recommend cloth diapers for many reasons, mostly because they have made our life much simpler. It has taken a bit more organization (making sure that we have clean diapers on hand) but over all, cloth is definitely the way to go for us.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Homemade Laundry Detergent!!!
I have been experimenting with home made cleaning products recently to stretch our budget a little bit. So far, what I have found has been promising. I made a 5 gallon batch of liquid laundry detergent in October and used it. It seemed to work just as well as the store bought stuff and cost probably about $1.00 to make.
Here's the recipe. Try it and see what you think!
1 bar of soap (I used Ivory but you can use anything but a "beauty bar")
1/2 cup of Borax
1/2 cup of Washing Soda (I bought the Borax and this at Hannaford)
Tap Water
Grate the bar of soap and add 3 quarts of water to it in a sauce pan. Heat and make a solution. When the soap is melted add the Borax and Washing Soda and stir until completely mixed. Let sit and cool for a while.
Fill a clean, 5 gallon bucket with hot tap water. Take two cups of the hot water and pour into the solution. Mix and add solution to the bucket of hot water. Let sit for 24 hours. You can store it in the bucket (I do, and I keep a lid from an old detergent bottle to add detergent to the wash) or pour into empty, smaller containers. You will need to shake or stir the mixture before you add it to the wash.
If you want scented detergent you can add 60 drops of lavender extract to the mixture before letting it sit. I still use store bought fabric softener so I didn't add any scent but I have heard that you can use vinegar as fabric softener and toss a balled up piece of tin foil into your dryer to get rid of the static. Has anyone tried that?
Good Luck!
Here's the recipe. Try it and see what you think!
1 bar of soap (I used Ivory but you can use anything but a "beauty bar")
1/2 cup of Borax
1/2 cup of Washing Soda (I bought the Borax and this at Hannaford)
Tap Water
Grate the bar of soap and add 3 quarts of water to it in a sauce pan. Heat and make a solution. When the soap is melted add the Borax and Washing Soda and stir until completely mixed. Let sit and cool for a while.
Fill a clean, 5 gallon bucket with hot tap water. Take two cups of the hot water and pour into the solution. Mix and add solution to the bucket of hot water. Let sit for 24 hours. You can store it in the bucket (I do, and I keep a lid from an old detergent bottle to add detergent to the wash) or pour into empty, smaller containers. You will need to shake or stir the mixture before you add it to the wash.
If you want scented detergent you can add 60 drops of lavender extract to the mixture before letting it sit. I still use store bought fabric softener so I didn't add any scent but I have heard that you can use vinegar as fabric softener and toss a balled up piece of tin foil into your dryer to get rid of the static. Has anyone tried that?
Good Luck!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Teachable Moments
This past summer, my wallet was stolen. Not only was it stolen, but it was taken from my diaper bag, which was tucked under my baby's car seat, while Olivia and I were next to the shopping cart. I think I even saw it happen!
Once I realized what had happened, and had to spend the whole day filing reports with the store, the police department and canceling my credit cards/checks/drivers license, I realized that I had to talk with Olivia about it. She was really wondering what had happened. She had been listening to me talk with everyone that day and when we left the police station she asked me "Why did that lady steal your wallet"
I didn't really know what to say. I hadn't thought of this scenario before.
I decided to start with the basic information. Yes, I think that the lady had stolen my wallet. We talked about what "stealing" is. We agreed that stealing means taking something that is not yours without asking and getting permission first. I told her that I didn't know why it happened but that there are some reasons why people do steal. I told her that some people don't understand that stealing is wrong and how some people do. I told her that some people know that stealing is wrong and that it hurts people's feelings and they do it because they want to anyways. I talked to her about people stealing because they don't have enough money for food or diapers.
We talked about how angry and sad it made me that the lady had stolen my wallet. We talked about what she probably did with my wallet after she took it from us (I was told by the police that when thieves take wallets they generally look for cash and throw the rest of the wallet into the nearest trash can.)
I talked with her about what I should have done differently, because, even though the lady shouldn't have taken my wallet, I should have zipped up the diaper bag, been more vigilant, etc. Olivia, who is a big fan of Dora the Explorer, said that I should have said "Hey lady, stop swiping," and that she probably would have said "Oh, man!" and walked away.
Now we still occasionally talk about it and she seems to really understand the idea that it is not okay to take things from people without getting permission first. In that respect, I am happy that it happened because it opened up an important dialog that we probably wouldn't have had otherwise.
On a side note-it does look like my wallet was just dumped in a trash can because no charges ever showed up on my credit cards and no checks were written from my bank account. The funny thing is, that my wallet had NO cash in it that day, not even a penny. "That lady" as Olivia calls her, chose the wrong person to steal from.
Once I realized what had happened, and had to spend the whole day filing reports with the store, the police department and canceling my credit cards/checks/drivers license, I realized that I had to talk with Olivia about it. She was really wondering what had happened. She had been listening to me talk with everyone that day and when we left the police station she asked me "Why did that lady steal your wallet"
I didn't really know what to say. I hadn't thought of this scenario before.
I decided to start with the basic information. Yes, I think that the lady had stolen my wallet. We talked about what "stealing" is. We agreed that stealing means taking something that is not yours without asking and getting permission first. I told her that I didn't know why it happened but that there are some reasons why people do steal. I told her that some people don't understand that stealing is wrong and how some people do. I told her that some people know that stealing is wrong and that it hurts people's feelings and they do it because they want to anyways. I talked to her about people stealing because they don't have enough money for food or diapers.
We talked about how angry and sad it made me that the lady had stolen my wallet. We talked about what she probably did with my wallet after she took it from us (I was told by the police that when thieves take wallets they generally look for cash and throw the rest of the wallet into the nearest trash can.)
I talked with her about what I should have done differently, because, even though the lady shouldn't have taken my wallet, I should have zipped up the diaper bag, been more vigilant, etc. Olivia, who is a big fan of Dora the Explorer, said that I should have said "Hey lady, stop swiping," and that she probably would have said "Oh, man!" and walked away.
Now we still occasionally talk about it and she seems to really understand the idea that it is not okay to take things from people without getting permission first. In that respect, I am happy that it happened because it opened up an important dialog that we probably wouldn't have had otherwise.
On a side note-it does look like my wallet was just dumped in a trash can because no charges ever showed up on my credit cards and no checks were written from my bank account. The funny thing is, that my wallet had NO cash in it that day, not even a penny. "That lady" as Olivia calls her, chose the wrong person to steal from.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
A Torturous Day of Mayhem
Yesterday was not a good day for the Smith ladies. We had a day of fighting, not listening, crying and general chaos. It was one of those days when, for the few minutes that everything goes well, you hug your children and tell them you love them and then one of them hits the other one and all bets are off.
Nap time came and went, along with a HUGE tantrum from Olivia and both girls took miniscule teeny tiny little naps. I was at my wits end. All I could think of was "I need BACKUP!"
Finally, Lincoln was on his way home from work. Relief was in sight. He pulled into the driveway and took over the care of the little monsters. I was preparing dinner, put Maya in her high chair and she grabbed my glass of water from the table and poured it all over herself, the high chair and the floor. I just lost all ability to pretend that this day wasn't bothering me. I kept wondering what was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just control the situation? What had I been doing so wrong today that my children were completely out of control?
I was on the floor, sputtering about escaping by myself...maybe even to jail...for a few days of silence when Lincoln asked me, incredulously, "What is wrong with you?" I gave him a dirty look and said "We've had a...very...very...difficult day."
We had dinner, went through the evening after dinner, and you know what? It wasn't just me! Lincoln had just as hard a time as I had been having all day. My only thought was "Thank GOD!" When we had a minute, I asked him, "Now, do you see what I was talking about earlier?" And he said very quietly, "Yes."
I was so relieved that I was ready to cry. I felt so bad that he was having a hard time with them, too, but at least I wasn't alone in experiencing this.
Now, we've all had a good night's sleep and we are all getting along again. Olivia is listening, has told me that she loves us and Maya is not destroying the house in a single reach. We made it through and no one even had to go to jail.
Nap time came and went, along with a HUGE tantrum from Olivia and both girls took miniscule teeny tiny little naps. I was at my wits end. All I could think of was "I need BACKUP!"
Finally, Lincoln was on his way home from work. Relief was in sight. He pulled into the driveway and took over the care of the little monsters. I was preparing dinner, put Maya in her high chair and she grabbed my glass of water from the table and poured it all over herself, the high chair and the floor. I just lost all ability to pretend that this day wasn't bothering me. I kept wondering what was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just control the situation? What had I been doing so wrong today that my children were completely out of control?
I was on the floor, sputtering about escaping by myself...maybe even to jail...for a few days of silence when Lincoln asked me, incredulously, "What is wrong with you?" I gave him a dirty look and said "We've had a...very...very...difficult day."
We had dinner, went through the evening after dinner, and you know what? It wasn't just me! Lincoln had just as hard a time as I had been having all day. My only thought was "Thank GOD!" When we had a minute, I asked him, "Now, do you see what I was talking about earlier?" And he said very quietly, "Yes."
I was so relieved that I was ready to cry. I felt so bad that he was having a hard time with them, too, but at least I wasn't alone in experiencing this.
Now, we've all had a good night's sleep and we are all getting along again. Olivia is listening, has told me that she loves us and Maya is not destroying the house in a single reach. We made it through and no one even had to go to jail.
The Dog Poop Incident
"What's that? Oh, uh oh...um...I stepped in dog poop." I hear my husband say from the kitchen. "And now it's on the floor. I have to go to work, sorry!" he rushes through that sentence as he backs out of the door.
"Oh, great. Thanks for giving me a reason to wash the floor today" I say sarcastically.
What did I want to say? How about "Get your butt back in here and CLEAN UP THIS POOP!"
My friend suggested that I roll up the area rug that got the brunt of the poop, put it outside with a note on it that says "wash me!" (I might add "and don't come in until you do!")
But I didn't. I cleaned up the offensive chunks, got a stiff bristled brush and some dish detergent and scrubbed the crap out of that rug. (Pun completely intended) I used a stiff bristled brush and some diluted Dawn Dish Detergent and it seemed to clean it pretty well. Then I washed the floor and got on with the rest of my day.
However, I did have that image of Cinderella flitting through my head. You know the part I'm talking about. After she has been told she can go to the ball if she just can get her chores done first. The infamous "If..." from the stepmother.
So, the good news is that my kitchen and bathroom floors are clean and shiny and the rug in front of the door has been scrubbed and steam cleaned. We also have a new rule that anyone who wears work boots has to check the bottom of their boots before they come into the house. I am thinking of changing the "he who smelled it, dealt it" to "he who tracks it, scrubs it," but that's not very catchy.
There's not a whole lot more to the story, and I don't have much more to add, but I thought that other Cinderellas may appreciate the situation.
"Oh, great. Thanks for giving me a reason to wash the floor today" I say sarcastically.
What did I want to say? How about "Get your butt back in here and CLEAN UP THIS POOP!"
My friend suggested that I roll up the area rug that got the brunt of the poop, put it outside with a note on it that says "wash me!" (I might add "and don't come in until you do!")
But I didn't. I cleaned up the offensive chunks, got a stiff bristled brush and some dish detergent and scrubbed the crap out of that rug. (Pun completely intended) I used a stiff bristled brush and some diluted Dawn Dish Detergent and it seemed to clean it pretty well. Then I washed the floor and got on with the rest of my day.
However, I did have that image of Cinderella flitting through my head. You know the part I'm talking about. After she has been told she can go to the ball if she just can get her chores done first. The infamous "If..." from the stepmother.
So, the good news is that my kitchen and bathroom floors are clean and shiny and the rug in front of the door has been scrubbed and steam cleaned. We also have a new rule that anyone who wears work boots has to check the bottom of their boots before they come into the house. I am thinking of changing the "he who smelled it, dealt it" to "he who tracks it, scrubs it," but that's not very catchy.
There's not a whole lot more to the story, and I don't have much more to add, but I thought that other Cinderellas may appreciate the situation.
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