A Suburban Mom's Survival Guide: To My Children in the Future

Hello, children! I know that the year is 2030 or after and you are grown-ass women now. Since it's the future, I'm hoping that we have achieved hoverboard technology, you can fly your space ship to work, and you guys have figured out how to fix the climate change problem that we did nothing to remedy. We actually thought we'd get that fixed. So sorry about that.
So, here are a few things that present me (2015 mom who does not have a hoverboard and still has to drive a car ON THE GROUND) wants to let you know.

What is there to look forward to now that you have one of these?

1. I'm sorry about all of the things I have done and will continue to do that really screw you up. I know that I am doing my best but life is hard and parenting is really hard...and I don't know what I'm doing most of the time. Dad and I are really trying to be the best parents we can be but that is a tall order and, frankly, that brings me to my next point.
2. We're so sorry that we're so damn tired. But here's the thing-we are. We work hard at work and at home so there have been many times when we are just so.freaking.tired. and we can not cope. We love you both and may be inconsistent and let you wear us down even when we should stand our ground but we are so.damn.tired. We really are trying to pick our battles and I'm positive we've said yes when we should say no and vice versa-just know that every mistake is really coming from the best of intentions, well, most of them.
3. #1, my first child, "mommy's little experiment" as we sometimes joke, I am so sorry for being so overly exhuberant and probably scaring you to death with my mothering intensity. I am an intense person-and ALL of that intensity was funneled into BEING THE BEST MOTHER for you until your sister came along. That is 3 1/2 years of intense, winner takes all crazy and you handled it like a champ. Thank you for being such a joyful, sweet and intuitive child and for turning out so well despite my unintentional efforts to make you a neurotic little basket case. I'm also sorry that you see that your little sister has some different rules than you had at her different ages. Part of this is because of item 2, part of this is due to experience. We think that certain things are not worth fighting over-you taught us that-but it does suck and feel like she's favored. I get it, I am an older sister, I'm swore I'd treat all of my children exactly the same but that is not always possible or necessary. Just think-when you're a teen you'll be able to drive and she'll have to ask you for rides places and that's pretty sweet.
4. #2, my second and final baby. I am so sorry for being so freaking sad and weepy and weird about you. I'm sorry it's so hard for me to say "no" to you and I'm sorry for treating you like you're older than you are. You are so smart and sweet and talk like a much older child (because your older sister loves teaching you things) and I often forget that you are 3 1/2 years younger than your sister. On the other hand, I'm sorry I sometimes baby you. I'm also sorry that your baby book only has 3 pages filled out and a receipt from your 1 year well baby check while your sister has entire scrap books devoted to her first year of life.
5. Finally, I hope that your father and I are a good example of a healthy relationship and that you don't swear too much (just enough to make your point but not so much that you sound like a Jerry Springer guest). I hope that you are able to laugh easily and fight for underdogs. I hope that you are finding a purpose and can use your Minecraft skills for good. Maybe you can help build the colony on Mars? I hope you still love math and science and remember that smart girls are cool. I hope that you make decisions based on hope for the path they'll lead you down instead of fear. I hope that you'll explore the world and taste foods and see amazing things. I hope you know how much we love you.