An Unidentified Flying Object

We were driving home from Wal-Mart, having survived a traumatic headband incident where I did not buy Olivia a headband. I was concentrating on the road, it was dark out and my eldest daughter was wailing in the back seat.

I was on the phone with Lincoln, my husband, when a projectile seemed to fly by my arm and down to the floor in front of my seat. As I had just moved my arm, I thought that I had probably knocked something out of the cup holder that is just at elbow height.

The ride continued uneventfully and Olivia was talking about the banana that she had been eating in the back in between mournful cries about the headband that was never to be. We reached our drive way and I opened the door.

When I looked down there was a peeled banana rolling around in front of my seat. I thought to myself: "She couldn't possibly have such good aim that she could chuck a banana through the two front seats, over my shoulder and have it land before the dash board! Much less in a moving vehicle on a dark night...could the banana have been there before our ride?" No. I knew it wasn't.

I turned around. She looked at me, defiantly, and I knew the horrible answer. She was the banana thrower. She was the one who had maliciously tossed the fruit at me. I asked her: "Why?"

And she said, perfectly innocently, "Mommy, I didn't like it! It was too spicy!"

Now what to do? This is not a scenario the books prepare you for. I don't remember anything about wild, fruit throwing, headband wanting children in the What to Expect books.

I looked at her and, trying so hard not to laugh while giving her my best, scary mom look said "You are not to ever throw anything in the car, it is dangerous, and I could have been hurt." In my head I'm thinking, really? I have to discipline you over a banana throwing incident? And I almost started to laugh again. I had to think along the lines of a more dangerous scenario. What if it had been a set of numchucks, or a sword or a frying pan instead of a banana? That would have been easier to dole out the serious discussion for. In the end, she agreed to never throw food again in the car and if she thought a banana was too spicy, she would ask me to take it.

I still am not sure why they have to test us in such ridiculous ways. It makes me wonder, is she testing more to see how I will react or how much she can get away with?