Our Baby is Turning One!

My youngest daughter is turning one in a few days.  It is amazing to think that a year ago she was not even a separate being from me-she was a tiny baby, dependent on my nutrients and contained within my body.  She was a mystery to us, and we looked forward to meeting her and watching her personality form.  
Now she is showing her personality and she is even more than I could have hoped for!  She has a great sense of humor, appears to be unfailingly curious, loves to play with her sister and our dog, is friendly to strangers but is still a mommy's girl.  


We are amazed at how early the sibling friction can be seen.  One day, when we were in the car, our eldest daughter was trying to relax and have quiet time.  Our youngest picked up on that and kept screaming at her and then laughing when Olivia would say "Maya, STOP YELLING!"  Then Maya would yell again and laugh, looking right at Olivia the whole time.  Needless to say,  my husband and I found that very amusing.  


We look back to our four-year-old's first birthday and how far she has come in just three years.  At the same time, we try to predict what Maya will be like in three years and have a few theories:

1. Wild Woman:  She could turn out to be the class clown, very boisterous and talkative.  I have a feeling she will be a "look before you leap" kind of person.  To be honest, I am nervous about what life will be like with her walking, running and exploring on her own.  I think I'll have to get in better shape.
2. Scientist:  Maybe not a scientist, maybe more of a food critic since everything goes in her mouth.  Hopefully that will stop.
3.   Endurance Runner:  Maya watches her sister with rapt attention and clearly just wants to do just what her sister is doing.  I think that she will walk for a day and run to catch up with Olivia for the rest of her life.
4. Math/Academic Whiz:  This is from my personal experience.  I had math troubles and was forced under penalty of being whipped with a wet noodle to do math flash cards nightly.  As a result, my younger sister knew the times tables, addition and subtraction and how to divide before I really understood any of that.  That really ticked me off, by the way.  Not enough to learn them but just enough to be really mad that my sister had beaten me.
5. Cuddle Bug:  Maya is a very cuddly, huggy baby and I hope that continues well into her school years.  

Happy Birthday, Maya Papaya!  

For the record, Olivia thinks Maya will be a princess when she's 4.

Home Made Spaghetti Sauce

I have recently discovered how to make spaghetti sauce.  I don't know if others are like me or not, but a long time ago I made up my mind that I could not make a few things: namely, spaghetti sauce and pie crusts.  Now I have found that I can indeed make both of those things!  Making my spaghetti sauce allows me to know where my family's food is coming from, what is in it and best of all-it saves us a LOT of money!

Here's how I do it:
4 cans of tomatoes (whole is best but diced will do)
2 cans of Tomato Paste
As much garlic as you can stand
1 onion (diced)
2 tbsp. of sea salt
a dash of sugar (probably about 1 tbsp. or so) more if you like sweet sauce
Italian Seasonings to taste

Optional:
Hamburger
Sausage
etc.


Saute your onions and garlic.  Add in the tomatoes and paste.  Add all other ingredients and simmer for at least an hour.  It will be chunky and, best of all, made exactly the way you like it!  We use ours for pasta, pizza sauce, etc.  Enjoy!

Really Living while on a Budget

I thought that right now, in the beginning of a new year (but not the beginning of a new decade, as a friend of ours pointed out-the new decade does not, in fact, begin until 2011) would be a good time to address the biggest monkey on my back...debt and budgeting.  This is not just a sore spot to me, though, most of my friends and even our country are struggling with these issues.  I know that there are a lot of reasons for this current economic melt down but believe that if we were brought up as a nation to be savers (and conservers and recyclers not to mention critical thinkers) this situation would not have happened.
When I was growing up, I received an allowance from my mom.  I was expected to split it into two envelopes, one for  saving and one for spending money.  By the end of high school, I had a pretty good chunk of change saved up.  However, in the ever amazing wisdom of youth, I spent it all on a car.  Now, I loved that car but it was not the best choice I ever made.
Thanks to the two envelope system I grew up with, I have a never ending need to save.  I love having money in my savings account.  The more I have saved, the better I am able to sleep.
My family, through a few different factors (choice, some poor decisions when we were young(er) and (more) foolish, and some unexpected circumstances) is currently living on a very strict budget.  Luckily, we both have jobs, we are all healthy and have had relatively good luck with our cars.  We have, however, had to make many adjustments to our wallets and more to our minds to be able to move forward with our finances.
The first challenge to our finances came with the birth of our oldest daughter.  We were a two-income family but now had to pay out over $500.00 per week in child care.  We did not adjust our weekly spending habits and quickly found ourselves in a pickle.  We had very little savings and the same expenses did not realize that even with two full time incomes an extra expenditure of $120 per week would hit the bank account so hard.  But we kept on and in time we cut other expenses down and were able to better absorb that daycare expense.  Then we started thinking about having another child.  Then we decided to move to Hawaii from Maine.  Then I dropped down to part-time work (and we worked at different times) so that we wouldn't pay child care any more.  Then we were blessed with a second, un-eventful pregnancy.  Then we moved back to Maine and bought a house.  Then we had our second baby girl.  Now it's been about a year since we bought the house and have two children, two cars and I only work part-time.
And, you know what?  We are for the most part in better shape budget wise than we were with two incomes.  We don't make nearly as much money but we are far more conscious of our money.  Before we spend we ask ourselves a few questions:
1.  Can we get this used? (except for underwear, diapers, basically anything that touches the nether regions)
2.  Is this the best possible deal?  Sometimes this is a really hard one to ask myself because I am generally shopping alone with my two children.  Anyone who shops alone with any children knows that the biggest hassle of a shopping trip is the CHILDREN!  The idea of going to a second shop (which means loading them back into the car for a trip somewhere else and then getting everyone out and re-organized to go into yet another store is a huge hassle).  Generally I research my prices and products online and don't go for it until I'm pretty certain that I can get what I need in one place.
3.  Do we really NEED this?  I admit, this is a hard one for us.  We are fairly impulsive people and have a very hard time differentiating between need and want.  I am also excellent at justifying why I should buy things.  I know this and often have to talk myself out of making purchases while trying to talk myself into making purchases.
4.  If we need this, where the heck are we going to put it?  This is our newest test.  Having two children has shown me that your home will quickly get overrun with stuff.  If I don't have a place to put the item, I do not allow myself to buy it.  As a part of that rule, my husband recently built a wall of shelves in our basement (from floor to ceiling)  We were able to put everything but a few tables and our bikes away on those shelves.  We have now set a limit that we will not store anything down in the basement that does not fit on those shelves.  That means that before we can get any more stuff, we need to purge what we already have.

These steps seem so common sense as I write them but when going through them it is very difficult to be honest with myself about the answers.  However, we have had some really great discussions with Olivia about budgeting, about clearing out trash and toys that aren't used any more and about recycling.  We'll keep with our plan and hopefully our country can find a way to make a realistic budget and get some money in the old savings account!

It's Just a Virus

So we  have been sick...in an endless cycle of illness...since October.  In October, all of us caught the flu (I suspect it was H1N1 because the seasonal flu was reportedly not attacking yet) and since then we have all been in a slow cycle of mucous, headaches and fevers.
I have been in the pediatrician's office at least three times a month since that time and am beginning to think that our Pediatrician thinks that I have a bad case of Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy! (In case you don't know, that is where parents manufacture an illness in their child because they crave the attention they get).  However, at our last spur of the moment appointment for a cough that just won't go away, our Pediatrician reassured me that this is just the course of this year's illnesses, and in fact, she has the same cough.  It made me feel better to know that the cough was not, in fact in my 11 month olds lungs, but it is so frustrating at the same time.
I dread hearing those four words from the doctor "It's just a virus.." and being given the advice to keep them hydrated, and have them rest.  I know that the doctor doesn't want to over-medicate our children and I know that there are problems caused by over-using antibiotics but I am so sick of wiping snotty noses, washing our sheets and towels in the hottest water possible, disinfecting my house and canceling play dates because every child in Southern Maine is transmitting this horrible never-ending virus.  I am at the point that when they get well I just want to put them in a bubble and keep them there through May.

So, until then we will keep slogging through this cold/flu season and work on hand washing, sneezing into our elbows, washing sheets and towels weekly, and I'm going to order two bubbles for my children-any idea how much they might cost?

Your Pea Soup is the Yummiest Food in the Whole Wide World!

My oldest daughter doesn't eat.  Well, I take that back.  She eats fruit, some veggies, yogurt, peanut butter and jelly/honey sandwiches, crackers, and chicken nuggets.  Oh, she also likes rice with cheerios in it for some reason.  However, she recently decided that she liked some Pea Soup that I had made in the Crock Pot and it was an amazing moment for us.
She was sitting at the kitchen table and we were eating the pea soup.
Olivia:  Mommy, I really like this pea soup and corn bread!
Me: (very surprised) Wow!  Thanks!  I'm glad you like it!  I think that might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me...wait, no it isn't.  Do you know what is?
Olivia:  What?
Me:  The nicest thing you have ever said to me is "I love you!"
Olivia:  I love you, too, Mommy!

How could I ask for more?  She told me she liked my nutritious meal and she told me she loved me-what a great day.

Here's the recipe:
1 bag of split peas
4-8 carrots (chopped)
1 onion (diced)
1 ham hock
enough water to cover everything-possibly up to 4 cups

Instructions:
Put everything in the crock pot and cook on low for 8-10 hrs. or on high for 4-6 hours.
We always serve it with corn bread.


Enjoy!

Fear vs. Reflection...How Best to Raise Our Children

There is a debate raging inside my head about how best to raise my children.  The little angel sitting on my right shoulder keeps telling me to raise them to be self-reflective, caring citizens who think about their actions and make choices based on a deep seated set of ethics.  The fat, lazy couch potato devil on my left shoulder says that I should teach them to follow the rules blindly and out of fear of whatever consequences my evil brain may cook up.
On one hand, I really like the idea that my children will make choices according to a set of ethics and a feeling of empowerment.  On the other hand, I want them to just automatically do what I say without questioning.
Don't get me wrong-this does not apply to all issues.  Safety issues are not negotiable.  There is not any ethical middle ground to running into the street.  This applies to questions like should I be honest?  Do I hit back?  Do I share with my friends?  For the most part, Olivia seems to understand that you share with friends because it makes you feel good and makes them feel good and that's one way that you show people that you care about them.  However, she is only four and there is only a certain amount of self-reflection that is possible.
When the situation presents itself, however, I generally try to talk with her about what she thinks she should do in a situation and why, and what may be some alternatives.  The problem with this route, though, is that she now is negotiating with me and is really good at it!  It is a little scary, how logical she can be and how quickly she can put together an argument.
So, now I think that I am going to have to go the route that my mom ended up going which is a combination of reflection first then fear.  She had two tools in her arsenal and they were good ones.
1.  She told us that she had spies all over the neighborhood and they would be watching us.  Therefore, she would always know what was going on.  The scariest thing was, it was true!  One day my sister crossed the road (jay walked) with no one in the road and no one around.  When she walked into the house my mother called from work and told her that she knew that Steph had crossed the street...and not at the light!  We were amazed and terrified by her power!  For years to come, and still to this day, when faced with a choice that could be a bad one I think a. does this seem like the right thing to do? and b. if not, is it worth getting caught and getting in trouble?
2.  She had a remote that would beep when a button was pushed.  It had a small speaker and nothing else on it.  She told us it was a lie detector and would point it at us when she asked us questions.  We believed.

So, when my girls grow up, I hope they feel the same way about me that I feel about my mom.  I hope, when they remember me, they think "She taught me right from wrong, and when all else failed, I sometimes made better choices because I was afraid of the wrath that would come down on me."

Cloth Diapers

Cloth Diapers have changed my life.   We used disposables with our oldest daughter and have used cloth virtually all the time with our youngest.  We have actually found that cloth diapers are easier to use, our house doesn't smell as bad, and she has had fewer diaper rashes.  Actually, had I known how easy cloth diapers are, I would have used them with our older daughter.
When we were deciding about whether or not to use cloth we had a lot to consider.  The first question was how would it change our routines.  We were so used to changing diapers and throwing them away that it seemed the easiest thing to do.  We were concerned about our initial start up cost and my husband just didn't like the idea at all.  At the time I worked in an Early Intervention program and was lucky enough to meet some moms who used cloth diapers.  I asked them about their experiences and heard about the brand that we ended up using, the Bum Genius.  This seemed the easiest to convince my husband about and he was amenable to the idea.  We decided to ask for the diapers as our only "baby shower" present since we had so many toys, clothes etc. from our oldest daughter. Actually, we were able to register for them through maineclothdiaper.com  Amazingly, we received 15 diapers as presents and have used them since she was about three weeks old.  The reason we waited was because the diaper seemed to rub on her umbilical stump and although the doctor said there was no feeling there, it looked really uncomfortable to me so we used the vast supply of newborn diapers we had from the hospital.  Once the stump fell off, it was go time!
There have been some negatives, though.  We have a hard time finding pants to fit our littlest darling since the cloth diapers are so gigantic.  Her butt looks huge with a cloth diaper on!  The other negative has to do with recent developments.  Now Maya is crawling and with crawling (mostly commando style) her diaper appears to fold down and she leaks pee out of the top of the diaper.  Sometimes it happens when she is sleeping, too (she is a stomach sleeper).  It doesn't happen all of the time-just often enough to keep us on our toes.  I am hoping that as she starts replacing bottles with solid foods she will be passing less urine and the diapers will not have as much of this problem.
The other issue is laundry.  I have a system in place where I go no more than two full days between diaper loads.  I wash the diapers twice (once on cold and again with hot) with my homemade laundry detergent and they seem to do well.  Every couple of months, I have to strip them and then they appear to be as good as new.
When Maya was about 7 months old we went camping for 5 days.  We bought a package of disposables to take with us since we didn't want to trek into town to do laundry during that time.  We were so used to the super-absorbancy of the cloth diapers that we could not change her diaper enough.  Instead of using 5 diapers per day (cloth) we were going through 8-10 disposables.  Not to mention, clothing changes.  Luckily, I had over-packed so she didn't end up smelling like pee for the whole trip.  She also developed a diaper rash during that camping trip.  However, her shorts did fit for the first time that summer.
I highly recommend cloth diapers for many reasons, mostly because they have made our life much simpler.  It has taken a bit more organization (making sure that we have clean diapers on hand) but over all, cloth is definitely the way to go for us.