Learning from the Children

My daughters are tightly coiled balls of ever increasing energy.  My eldest daughter does not just get out of bed in the morning (or stumble, flailing until I find my glasses, swearing at the sun for rising, my dog for getting in my way, the coffee for not already being made, etc.).  No.  She wakes up in the morning, leaps to the end of her bed, jumps from her bed to the floor, and skips...skips!  down stairs.  She skips every where.  She skips all day long.  She skips to the bathroom, she skips to the kitchen to get a yogurt, she skips or runs but hardly ever walks.

My husband and I were discussing this the other day.  We noticed that her first choice is to always skip between tasks. We both watched her skip into the bathroom and as she left the room, we were both smiling and laughing.  Watching her skipping brought us joy!  We both remarked that we wished that our first thought was to always skip-instead of plodding along as it seems some days.

Our youngest does not just wake up, either.  If, by chance, we have to wake her up she doesn't roll over and groggily greet us with a smile.  She lies on her stomach, flapping and clapping and slapping her feet and hands on her mattress until she springs up, grabs onto the bars of her crib, and jumps up and down.  This whole sequence takes about 5 seconds.  She is ready for action as soon as her eyes open.  She is full of joy and thrilled to greet the day.

Both of my daughters are excited to get on with the next thing, but they are also so happy to be in that moment that they make us happy to be a part of that moment.  They have helped us to find joy in mundane moments and, quite often, cause us to stop, take a look around, and be happy for simple moments. 
I'm not going to pretend that I can alter my bad attitude upon waking up.  I don't know if I am willing to work on that part of me when there are so many other facets of me that need work (such as the part of me that follows through with things, the part of me that cleans the bathroom more often, or the part of me that can focus on things for more than 10 minutes).  However, I am willing to take a little more time and be thankful for small moments of joy and peace and be looking for opportunities to recognize those two things.  Hopefully, in the future, my daughters will remember me as a fun mom whose moments of joy outnumbered the moments of grouchy, flailing anger. 

Our Baby is Turning One!

My youngest daughter is turning one in a few days.  It is amazing to think that a year ago she was not even a separate being from me-she was a tiny baby, dependent on my nutrients and contained within my body.  She was a mystery to us, and we looked forward to meeting her and watching her personality form.  
Now she is showing her personality and she is even more than I could have hoped for!  She has a great sense of humor, appears to be unfailingly curious, loves to play with her sister and our dog, is friendly to strangers but is still a mommy's girl.  


We are amazed at how early the sibling friction can be seen.  One day, when we were in the car, our eldest daughter was trying to relax and have quiet time.  Our youngest picked up on that and kept screaming at her and then laughing when Olivia would say "Maya, STOP YELLING!"  Then Maya would yell again and laugh, looking right at Olivia the whole time.  Needless to say,  my husband and I found that very amusing.  


We look back to our four-year-old's first birthday and how far she has come in just three years.  At the same time, we try to predict what Maya will be like in three years and have a few theories:

1. Wild Woman:  She could turn out to be the class clown, very boisterous and talkative.  I have a feeling she will be a "look before you leap" kind of person.  To be honest, I am nervous about what life will be like with her walking, running and exploring on her own.  I think I'll have to get in better shape.
2. Scientist:  Maybe not a scientist, maybe more of a food critic since everything goes in her mouth.  Hopefully that will stop.
3.   Endurance Runner:  Maya watches her sister with rapt attention and clearly just wants to do just what her sister is doing.  I think that she will walk for a day and run to catch up with Olivia for the rest of her life.
4. Math/Academic Whiz:  This is from my personal experience.  I had math troubles and was forced under penalty of being whipped with a wet noodle to do math flash cards nightly.  As a result, my younger sister knew the times tables, addition and subtraction and how to divide before I really understood any of that.  That really ticked me off, by the way.  Not enough to learn them but just enough to be really mad that my sister had beaten me.
5. Cuddle Bug:  Maya is a very cuddly, huggy baby and I hope that continues well into her school years.  

Happy Birthday, Maya Papaya!  

For the record, Olivia thinks Maya will be a princess when she's 4.

1st Time Mom Vs. 2nd Time Mom

I have two daughters. They were singletons and have had very different babyhoods so far. Olivia was my first, she was a planned surprise (planned and then discovered after we had decided to stop trying for a baby) and Maya was completely planned. They are three and a half years apart and so far seem to be best friends.

There are some surprising differences in my experiences being a mom the first time around.

The First Time:

Everything had to be PERFECT! This was my baby, and she would lack for nothing. Nothing could be more important than having the pack and play match the pattern on the stroller and car seat. Except, of course, that everything had to be new. I remember the horror I felt at the idea of putting used clothes on my princess.

Everything had to be by-the-book. There was no compromise when it came to developmental toys, foods, breast or bottle fed and if I attempted to deviate at all I terrorized myself with ridiculous guilt trips.

I was convinced that I was not going to be able to keep her alive. That poor child was poked and prodded so many times during naps and night sleeping to ease my mind.

I spent hours agonizing over her development, my role in any delays and how to "help" her. The fact that our pediatrician, my co-workers at early intervention, my husband, our parents and everyone else said that she was developing fine meant nothing to me. What did they know? They weren't her mother!

The second time around has been very different.

This time there is more pressure to be fair to both of them and ensure that I am giving them enough time. Maya (baby #2) shows signs of being even more easy going than Olivia was, and smiles and laughs at everything!

This time I have them sharing a room so having Maya wake up in the night is more than just an inconvenience-it is a catastrophe! Once one was up, the other is, too and it is all I was able to do to get through that stage.

With Olivia, I agonized over the decision to supplement her with formula while primarily feeding her breast milk. With Maya, I made that decision with little to no hesitation. I actually was easier able to nurse Maya but I didn't have the patience for it. She was nursing non stop and I didn't have the ability to pump extra for bottle feedings.

This time, I am actually able to enjoy her milestones rather than always waiting for the next one to come up. I have more faith in our parenting and our knowledge of child development and I am confident that we are on the right path.

I keep thinking that having one was great, and it really was, but two are even better!