A Suburban Mom's Survival Guide: August 2015

Recently, an aquaintance of mine on Facebook shared an infographic about Planned Parenthood that included information about Planned Parenthood not providing mammogram services directly to patients so, therefore, Planned Parenthood is irrelevant and should be de-funded. This is an ongoing campaign by religious, anti-choice groups to limit women's access to family planning services and, ultimately, deny us our right to decide whether or not to carry a pregnancy (or to even choose to have sex without pregnancy).

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There are several reasons why these arguments really annoy me. I am a firm believer in personal choice, in a woman's right to choose, and in the freedom to decide why, when, and with whom I have a baby. I have two daughters. I want them to have choices about their bodies and reproduction. I also have first hand experience with Planned Parenthood so I thought this would be a good place to share my experience.

I'm sure that's just a coincidence, though.

When I was in high school, I still attended a medical practice with my family pediatrician. He was a really nice guy. He was middle aged, wore a bow tie, my mom and sister also went to this family practice. He was a man. I was 16 years old. I had a lot of questions. My mom suggested that I had reached a certain age. No, not that age, I had reached the age when a girl gets her first Pap Smear. I did not want him between my legs.

For those of you who haven't had a Pap, let me give you the run down. It's a super intimate procedure that is treated with no ceremony. You are brought into a room, told to strip and put on a paper gown (backless, really fashionable). Keep in mind that at 16 you have basically been told all your life to keep your clothes on, to not let anyone anywhere NEAR your vagina, and certainly not to let strangers poke around in it.

After a few minutes of sitting on the exam table, uneasily, trying to look through a magazine, but really stealing glances at the stirriups hanging off the end (and thinking that this bed suddenly looks like a torture device) the doctor knocks on the door and comes in. I have always had female doctors for this particular exam. I think that ladies understand that it is inherently uncomfortable, and try to get through it as gently, but quickly as possible. The doctor sits by your feet and you quickly realize that your crotch is going to be all that she sees for the next however-long-it-takes. The doctor encourages you to lay down, put your feet in the stirrups, and slide your butt to the edge of the table. Then you are told to relax, spread your legs, and you usually get asked about the weather as a speculum (metal torture device) is inserted into your vagina, ratcheted open, then a swab is inserted into the speculum where it scrapes your cervix so that tests can be done. Next, the speculum snaps closed, is pulled out of you (and OH GOD, it looks HUGE the first time- I think I actually gasped and asked the doctor if she really "put that in there") and you usually get a breast exam while you talk about school or work or something mundane.

Looks like....fun?

That is a standard annual exam. It is not a fun exam, it's not sexy, it's uncomfortable for everyone. However, as a teen going to Planned Parenthood for my first exam, I was terrified. I turned 16 in 1996, and there were reports daily on the news of abortion clinic protests, providers being shot, etc. I thought I'd be pulling in to a parking lot full of raving anti abortion protesters, waving signs and calling me a whore. When I arrived at the building to find a perfectly mundane medical practice I was shocked that it looked like any other doctor's office. There was no one protesting. I walked up the stairs, went to reception and got my check in paperwork, filled it out, and waited for my name to be called. I had checked the boxes for "annual exam" and "birth control" and my heart was in my throat.

The nurse called my name, weighed me, took me into the exam room, and I got ready for the exam. During the exam the doctor talked to me about the weather, where I went to school, what I did for activities, etc.
Here are some things that did not happen: She never once asked me if I wanted to have an abortion. She never asked if I wanted to sell my future children on the black market. She didn't offer to make me a part of a worldwide conspiracy to ruin mens rights and force all women to end their pregnancies.
She talked to me like a person, asked if I had any questions, and invited me to get dressed and she'd be back to talk to me about birth control options.

After I got dressed, she re-entered the room and went over the birth control options with me. I had already discussed the choices with my mom at home, so I was pretty sure that the pill was for me. She gave me a prescription and a packet of pills, I went to the front desk, paid my bill, grabbed my free condoms out of the fish bowl (who doesn't take free stuff when it's offered?) and left.

True Story.

It was empowering. I felt like I had done something important (and kind of weird) but I had taken control. Even then, I felt like I was a part of a quiet revolution for being a part of the Planned Parenthood family. I felt like I was connected to the struggle for womens rights in a small way. I felt a little confused about the exam, but proud of myself for taking this step.

in the nearly 20 years since then, I have had nearly 20 annual exams. Some were at Planned Parenthood, some were are Women's Health Centers in local hospitals. Most recently, they were at my OB/GYN's ofice. Nothing has changed in the procedure (except that I know my current OB/GYN and have for about 10 years). The only difference between my experience at Planned Parenthood and my OB/GYN's office was the decoration on the ceiling above the exam table. (Planned Parenthood had a poster of a kit flying, my OB/GYN's office has a mobile hung from the ceiling). They all have those damn stirrups. Somehow keeping my socks on makes the whole process seem dirtier, but you always leave your socks on.

I think I should get one of these for the summer house.

Planned Parenthood provides much more than abortions (actually only 3% of the services they provide AND they can't use any federal money to pay for those abortions.) See the infographic below to see what they provide most. They provide a safe space for women and girls to get medical advice and services. They provide a caring, professional atmosphere for those medical services. They provide a place for girls and women to be empowered and start making choices about their own bodies. I stand with Planned Parenthood.