It's the truth! This video (courtesy of Mompetition on YouTube) so perfectly lays out the path for first time moms to go absolutely insane! Watch this one-and then watch every other video she's done-they are all brilliant.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Yoga Pants or Sweat Pants?
Isn't that the great question for so many stay at home moms? I know, when I go to the bus stop there are three groups of moms.
1. People who work outside of the home during the day. You can tell they do because they are wearing real clothes. You know, clothes that look clean, make an outfit, and make the people look like professionals, adults, not slobs.
2. Sweat Pant wearing moms (this includes people in pajama pants, too). Generally they are wearing some sort of large sweat shirt (typically a Men's size) and a T-shirt with a Disney character on it.
3. Yoga pant wearing moms: (also other types of athletic pants not to include wind pants.) Usually work out or like to give the appearance of working out right after the bus leaves.
I am not a sweat pant wearing mom because I don't like sweat pants. I am, however, often times a yoga pant wearing mom and occasionally a real clothes wearing mom. I am always amazed by how much better I feel if I actually get ready, have real clothes on and feel "put together" for my day when I go to the bus stop. Sometimes, I'll change into jeans and a nice top just for the bus stop (because, let's face it, as a stay at home mom there are some days when that's the only time I get out of the house or see other adults all day!) just to come home, change into my workout clothes, and get my sweat on.
It's interesting how, when I was working outside of the home, I never would have gone "out," even to the bus stop, in my yoga pants. I really put much more emphasis on feeling and looking good because I felt more like it mattered. And, in some ways, it did matter more. I'm not going to be written up because I look like a slob when I'm cleaning the tub or changing diapers, but I would at least be talked to if I showed up to facilitate a meeting in a dirty t-shirt, un-showered and wearing yoga pants.
However, that's where I am now. In some ways, I like my new "uniform," and I love this job. I like wearing comfy clothes, having the relative freedom to structure my day, do my work in my pj's if I want to, and to play with my youngest daughter while the oldest is in school. However, a part of me yearns for the "old" me-who wore makeup and jewelry, had nice work clothes, did my hair, and got raises. Maybe that's a new part of my goals for 2011. Keep working out, keep eating healthy, get more organized, and wear real clothes to the bus stop in the morning.
1. People who work outside of the home during the day. You can tell they do because they are wearing real clothes. You know, clothes that look clean, make an outfit, and make the people look like professionals, adults, not slobs.
2. Sweat Pant wearing moms (this includes people in pajama pants, too). Generally they are wearing some sort of large sweat shirt (typically a Men's size) and a T-shirt with a Disney character on it.
3. Yoga pant wearing moms: (also other types of athletic pants not to include wind pants.) Usually work out or like to give the appearance of working out right after the bus leaves.
I am not a sweat pant wearing mom because I don't like sweat pants. I am, however, often times a yoga pant wearing mom and occasionally a real clothes wearing mom. I am always amazed by how much better I feel if I actually get ready, have real clothes on and feel "put together" for my day when I go to the bus stop. Sometimes, I'll change into jeans and a nice top just for the bus stop (because, let's face it, as a stay at home mom there are some days when that's the only time I get out of the house or see other adults all day!) just to come home, change into my workout clothes, and get my sweat on.
It's interesting how, when I was working outside of the home, I never would have gone "out," even to the bus stop, in my yoga pants. I really put much more emphasis on feeling and looking good because I felt more like it mattered. And, in some ways, it did matter more. I'm not going to be written up because I look like a slob when I'm cleaning the tub or changing diapers, but I would at least be talked to if I showed up to facilitate a meeting in a dirty t-shirt, un-showered and wearing yoga pants.
However, that's where I am now. In some ways, I like my new "uniform," and I love this job. I like wearing comfy clothes, having the relative freedom to structure my day, do my work in my pj's if I want to, and to play with my youngest daughter while the oldest is in school. However, a part of me yearns for the "old" me-who wore makeup and jewelry, had nice work clothes, did my hair, and got raises. Maybe that's a new part of my goals for 2011. Keep working out, keep eating healthy, get more organized, and wear real clothes to the bus stop in the morning.
My Dog...
My dog is not a genius. I've known this from the beginning, when she was a puppy, but I never really realized just how dumb she is until a few weeks ago.
Now, to preface this story, my dog is really sweet, excellent with the children and generally well behaved. She was house trained really quickly, doesn't bark a lot and makes us happy. She's also 8 years old and
A few weeks ago we bought a stake to put in the ground with a 30 foot leash attached. We decided to do this so that she could go out, do her business (which is getting more frequent as she gets older) and come in without me having to take her out all day long.
Our house sits in the middle of what we affectionately call "the moat." Our house is on a raised plot of land with woods around it. The woods are lower than the house and in the spring they tend to get very wet. Our dog run is long enough for our dog to get into the woods and around a tree or two. These are very small trees.
So here's the situation. Last Sunday I let my dog out. She quickly twisted her leash around the trees and started barking for me. I went out to get her. I pulled her back around the tree and she was completely amazed that I knew how to get her out of such a horrible predicament. We did this three more times that afternoon and each time, she looked at me like I was a wizard as I brought her around that tree.
I looked back at her, after my third rescue, completely flabbergasted. "Ellie!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in the air, "I love you but I don't believe you can really be that stupid!" She jumped around, wagged her tail, and ran inside.
My husband got home, let her out, and she tied herself around the tree again. He was the magician this time.
Since I started writing this blog entry, about a month has passed. Ellie still is getting tied up around the trees, rocks, pieces of bamboo, you name it. I've now given up the hope that if I show her how to free herself, she'll figure it out. I still love her, I just won't be relying on her for any rescues or great demonstrations of logic in the future.
Now, to preface this story, my dog is really sweet, excellent with the children and generally well behaved. She was house trained really quickly, doesn't bark a lot and makes us happy. She's also 8 years old and
A few weeks ago we bought a stake to put in the ground with a 30 foot leash attached. We decided to do this so that she could go out, do her business (which is getting more frequent as she gets older) and come in without me having to take her out all day long.
Our house sits in the middle of what we affectionately call "the moat." Our house is on a raised plot of land with woods around it. The woods are lower than the house and in the spring they tend to get very wet. Our dog run is long enough for our dog to get into the woods and around a tree or two. These are very small trees.
So here's the situation. Last Sunday I let my dog out. She quickly twisted her leash around the trees and started barking for me. I went out to get her. I pulled her back around the tree and she was completely amazed that I knew how to get her out of such a horrible predicament. We did this three more times that afternoon and each time, she looked at me like I was a wizard as I brought her around that tree.
I looked back at her, after my third rescue, completely flabbergasted. "Ellie!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in the air, "I love you but I don't believe you can really be that stupid!" She jumped around, wagged her tail, and ran inside.
My husband got home, let her out, and she tied herself around the tree again. He was the magician this time.
Since I started writing this blog entry, about a month has passed. Ellie still is getting tied up around the trees, rocks, pieces of bamboo, you name it. I've now given up the hope that if I show her how to free herself, she'll figure it out. I still love her, I just won't be relying on her for any rescues or great demonstrations of logic in the future.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Addressing Excuses
Since starting with P90 in January, moving onto P90X in April and now working through Insanity, I've had many people ask me what I do. When I tell them (I eat a healthy diet, work out 6 days per week and keep pushing through and challenging my body) they either say
1: Cool, I've wanted to try (insert program here) for a while. How do I get it?
or
2: I could never do that because (insert excuse here).
1. "I don't have time to exercise." Then I say: Yes you do! How much time do you spend sitting on the couch every night watching TV? If you cut out one show per night (30-60 minutes) you could make major changes to your life and energy level.
2. "I don't have the energy to exercise. I'm so tired when I get home from work." Then I say: The amazing thing about changing your diet to be cleaner and adding in regular exercise is that you find energy that you didn't realize you ever had. You will sleep better at night, you will be able to focus your brain better, and you will reduce your stress levels.
3. "I could never follow a diet plan. I'm too busy and/or I have kids" I say: You do have time. Not only do you spend more money on your fast food lunches (that rob you of precious energy and leave you feeling more lethargic than before) but you spend time getting to the restaurant and waiting for them to deep fry your food and remove all semblance of nutrients in them. You can easily prepare a nutritious, tasty, balanced meal in advance and even save money. Best of all, Beachbody programs come with nutrition plans which lay out for you all of the options, recipes and even have guides for eating at restaurants. If you really want to make it simple on yourself, try Shakeology. You'll get amazing results, it tastes great, and it's actually good for you. Also, your kids will eat what you give them if that is their only option. Don't give them the option of junk food. Give them two or three healthy choices and tell them that's what they can choose from. They will eat better because they'll get hungry eventually ;)
4. "It's too expensive." Small picture here: Eating at restaurants, monthly gym memberships, constantly feeling tired/depressed/unhappy with your body, spending money on "gadgets" to fix the problem for you, and so many other aspects of being unhealthy are far more draining on your wallet and your psyche than simply pressing play in your own home, working out and eating clean. Big picture: In the long run, you will save money because you will imporove your health. Therefore, you will be at a lower risk for Diabetes, heart disease, cancer, etc. You will have more energy and feel better about yourself. You will sleep better, you will get more regular and you'll want to keep the momentum going. Also, you can become a Team Beachbody member and get 10% off or become a Coach and get 25% off. So, it's really not that expensive after all!
Trust me- once you get past your own objections (these were the excuses I used to make to myself all the time) you'll be able to help people overcome theirs, too!
Have a great day and let's get active!
1: Cool, I've wanted to try (insert program here) for a while. How do I get it?
or
2: I could never do that because (insert excuse here).
1. "I don't have time to exercise." Then I say: Yes you do! How much time do you spend sitting on the couch every night watching TV? If you cut out one show per night (30-60 minutes) you could make major changes to your life and energy level.
2. "I don't have the energy to exercise. I'm so tired when I get home from work." Then I say: The amazing thing about changing your diet to be cleaner and adding in regular exercise is that you find energy that you didn't realize you ever had. You will sleep better at night, you will be able to focus your brain better, and you will reduce your stress levels.
3. "I could never follow a diet plan. I'm too busy and/or I have kids" I say: You do have time. Not only do you spend more money on your fast food lunches (that rob you of precious energy and leave you feeling more lethargic than before) but you spend time getting to the restaurant and waiting for them to deep fry your food and remove all semblance of nutrients in them. You can easily prepare a nutritious, tasty, balanced meal in advance and even save money. Best of all, Beachbody programs come with nutrition plans which lay out for you all of the options, recipes and even have guides for eating at restaurants. If you really want to make it simple on yourself, try Shakeology. You'll get amazing results, it tastes great, and it's actually good for you. Also, your kids will eat what you give them if that is their only option. Don't give them the option of junk food. Give them two or three healthy choices and tell them that's what they can choose from. They will eat better because they'll get hungry eventually ;)
4. "It's too expensive." Small picture here: Eating at restaurants, monthly gym memberships, constantly feeling tired/depressed/unhappy with your body, spending money on "gadgets" to fix the problem for you, and so many other aspects of being unhealthy are far more draining on your wallet and your psyche than simply pressing play in your own home, working out and eating clean. Big picture: In the long run, you will save money because you will imporove your health. Therefore, you will be at a lower risk for Diabetes, heart disease, cancer, etc. You will have more energy and feel better about yourself. You will sleep better, you will get more regular and you'll want to keep the momentum going. Also, you can become a Team Beachbody member and get 10% off or become a Coach and get 25% off. So, it's really not that expensive after all!
Trust me- once you get past your own objections (these were the excuses I used to make to myself all the time) you'll be able to help people overcome theirs, too!
Have a great day and let's get active!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
A Glimpse...and I wasn't ready!
I was sitting in the living room today, reading and glancing up at Olivia as she was dancing around the living room. She was wearing her costume from her recital and twirling, jumping, and laughing. She was stunning and silly, sweet and innocent in that way that only children (especially young children) can be.
She put her arms down and trotted around the corner-and suddenly I had a vision into the future. In my vision, I was myself, only in the future. I was reading another book and I looked up, and my adult daughter came dancing around the corner, wearing a wedding dress. I heard Olivia's voice saying "Mommy, don't I look pretty?" and was brought back to present time.
I started crying. No, not crying. Sobbing! I was a mess! Instantly, my very sensitive and sweet daughter came running over and gave me a hug. I hugged her back and she said "You have to let me go now." "I know." I said. I choked back my sobs and smiled at her. "I am very proud of you," I said. "I'm proud of you, too," said Olivia as she smiled up at me.
She put her arms down and trotted around the corner-and suddenly I had a vision into the future. In my vision, I was myself, only in the future. I was reading another book and I looked up, and my adult daughter came dancing around the corner, wearing a wedding dress. I heard Olivia's voice saying "Mommy, don't I look pretty?" and was brought back to present time.
I started crying. No, not crying. Sobbing! I was a mess! Instantly, my very sensitive and sweet daughter came running over and gave me a hug. I hugged her back and she said "You have to let me go now." "I know." I said. I choked back my sobs and smiled at her. "I am very proud of you," I said. "I'm proud of you, too," said Olivia as she smiled up at me.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Today I put on my Cranky Pants
Today is a rough day. Today I put on my cranky pants without even realizing it.
When you're a mom, you don't really get cranky days. When you're a kid, you can have a day where you are grouchy and frown and scowl all day long and everyone tells you to change your attitude and maybe you get sent to your room...but that's it. When you're a mom (especially when you're a stay at home mom) the cranky pants day is not really something you get to take advantage of.
As the mom of the house, I generally need to be on my toes, keeping an eye on the day's schedule, working on my tasks and trying to find a few minutes to de-compress during nap time. Today, though, after our really kick-butt Kenpo X workout, I was in the shower and suddenly I was full of rage. Everything I thought of made me spin off in a "Sneaky Hate Spiral"(If you haven't read it-I highly encourage a thorough perusal of www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com ). This is dangerous. Not only was my husband quickly going to expect some sort of polite conversation as he got ready for his shower-at this point I was so full of ridiculous, impotent rage that when he entered the bathroom he was barraged by a spastic, psychotic rant of verbal diarrhea. It was bad. He is a true champion, though, and as I finished my rant he smiled at me and said "Perfectly reasonable. I love you!"
After lunch, and after he left for work, I put my youngest daughter down to nap and started an afternoon movie for my oldest daughter so that I could do the dishes, clean up and take a few minutes to stew.
Boy, did I ever stew. I called a friend and stewed in my grouchiness, I sat in my chair and stewed, I even laid on the couch, crossed my arms, and pouted...and didn't feel any better. That made me even more grouchy! I refused to get off the couch until I got some sort of confirmation from the universe that I was justified in my grouchiness. Then I really made it official-I posted it in my status on Facebook. There. Now everyone would know that I was grouchy and rush to make me feel better. But no one did. So I did. I commented on my own status "C'mon, me, turn that frown upside down!" Then I laughed at myself.
Now, I've changed out of my cranky pants and back into my happy, normal pants-and I'm ready to tackle my biggest hurdle of the day-GROCERY SHOPPING AT SAM'S WITH TWO CHILDREN IN TOW!!!
No pouting allowed.
When you're a mom, you don't really get cranky days. When you're a kid, you can have a day where you are grouchy and frown and scowl all day long and everyone tells you to change your attitude and maybe you get sent to your room...but that's it. When you're a mom (especially when you're a stay at home mom) the cranky pants day is not really something you get to take advantage of.
As the mom of the house, I generally need to be on my toes, keeping an eye on the day's schedule, working on my tasks and trying to find a few minutes to de-compress during nap time. Today, though, after our really kick-butt Kenpo X workout, I was in the shower and suddenly I was full of rage. Everything I thought of made me spin off in a "Sneaky Hate Spiral"(If you haven't read it-I highly encourage a thorough perusal of www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com ). This is dangerous. Not only was my husband quickly going to expect some sort of polite conversation as he got ready for his shower-at this point I was so full of ridiculous, impotent rage that when he entered the bathroom he was barraged by a spastic, psychotic rant of verbal diarrhea. It was bad. He is a true champion, though, and as I finished my rant he smiled at me and said "Perfectly reasonable. I love you!"
After lunch, and after he left for work, I put my youngest daughter down to nap and started an afternoon movie for my oldest daughter so that I could do the dishes, clean up and take a few minutes to stew.
Boy, did I ever stew. I called a friend and stewed in my grouchiness, I sat in my chair and stewed, I even laid on the couch, crossed my arms, and pouted...and didn't feel any better. That made me even more grouchy! I refused to get off the couch until I got some sort of confirmation from the universe that I was justified in my grouchiness. Then I really made it official-I posted it in my status on Facebook. There. Now everyone would know that I was grouchy and rush to make me feel better. But no one did. So I did. I commented on my own status "C'mon, me, turn that frown upside down!" Then I laughed at myself.
Now, I've changed out of my cranky pants and back into my happy, normal pants-and I'm ready to tackle my biggest hurdle of the day-GROCERY SHOPPING AT SAM'S WITH TWO CHILDREN IN TOW!!!
No pouting allowed.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Learning from the Children
My daughters are tightly coiled balls of ever increasing energy. My eldest daughter does not just get out of bed in the morning (or stumble, flailing until I find my glasses, swearing at the sun for rising, my dog for getting in my way, the coffee for not already being made, etc.). No. She wakes up in the morning, leaps to the end of her bed, jumps from her bed to the floor, and skips...skips! down stairs. She skips every where. She skips all day long. She skips to the bathroom, she skips to the kitchen to get a yogurt, she skips or runs but hardly ever walks.
My husband and I were discussing this the other day. We noticed that her first choice is to always skip between tasks. We both watched her skip into the bathroom and as she left the room, we were both smiling and laughing. Watching her skipping brought us joy! We both remarked that we wished that our first thought was to always skip-instead of plodding along as it seems some days.
Our youngest does not just wake up, either. If, by chance, we have to wake her up she doesn't roll over and groggily greet us with a smile. She lies on her stomach, flapping and clapping and slapping her feet and hands on her mattress until she springs up, grabs onto the bars of her crib, and jumps up and down. This whole sequence takes about 5 seconds. She is ready for action as soon as her eyes open. She is full of joy and thrilled to greet the day.
Both of my daughters are excited to get on with the next thing, but they are also so happy to be in that moment that they make us happy to be a part of that moment. They have helped us to find joy in mundane moments and, quite often, cause us to stop, take a look around, and be happy for simple moments.
I'm not going to pretend that I can alter my bad attitude upon waking up. I don't know if I am willing to work on that part of me when there are so many other facets of me that need work (such as the part of me that follows through with things, the part of me that cleans the bathroom more often, or the part of me that can focus on things for more than 10 minutes). However, I am willing to take a little more time and be thankful for small moments of joy and peace and be looking for opportunities to recognize those two things. Hopefully, in the future, my daughters will remember me as a fun mom whose moments of joy outnumbered the moments of grouchy, flailing anger.
My husband and I were discussing this the other day. We noticed that her first choice is to always skip between tasks. We both watched her skip into the bathroom and as she left the room, we were both smiling and laughing. Watching her skipping brought us joy! We both remarked that we wished that our first thought was to always skip-instead of plodding along as it seems some days.
Our youngest does not just wake up, either. If, by chance, we have to wake her up she doesn't roll over and groggily greet us with a smile. She lies on her stomach, flapping and clapping and slapping her feet and hands on her mattress until she springs up, grabs onto the bars of her crib, and jumps up and down. This whole sequence takes about 5 seconds. She is ready for action as soon as her eyes open. She is full of joy and thrilled to greet the day.
Both of my daughters are excited to get on with the next thing, but they are also so happy to be in that moment that they make us happy to be a part of that moment. They have helped us to find joy in mundane moments and, quite often, cause us to stop, take a look around, and be happy for simple moments.
I'm not going to pretend that I can alter my bad attitude upon waking up. I don't know if I am willing to work on that part of me when there are so many other facets of me that need work (such as the part of me that follows through with things, the part of me that cleans the bathroom more often, or the part of me that can focus on things for more than 10 minutes). However, I am willing to take a little more time and be thankful for small moments of joy and peace and be looking for opportunities to recognize those two things. Hopefully, in the future, my daughters will remember me as a fun mom whose moments of joy outnumbered the moments of grouchy, flailing anger.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Lady Gaga Vs. Hannah Montana
My daughter (who is 4) loves both Hannah Montana and Lady Gaga. When I say loves, I mean LOVES them. She has never watched the show, Hannah Montana but has heard some of Miley Cyrus' songs and tries to dress the way she thinks Hannah Montana would dress. She also loves Lady Gaga. Especially Bad Romance.
One day, I turned on some music on Pandora Radio (maybe the best thing ever invented for people who love music) and Olivia started dancing around the living room, stripping down to her skivvies! I couldn't believe it. I got a vision of the future-and it looked pretty terrifying. However, she loves listening to Lady Gaga and even asks me to turn on "The Gaga Lady" when we're in the car. I generally do, too, because I love Lady Gaga too (but it doesn't inspire me to strip down whenever the music comes on)
On the other hand, she loves Hannah Montana, too. One day she asked me to turn on a Hannah Montana song and I reacted with such vehemence that it surprised me. I had to ask myself, what is going on with me? If you listen to the lyrics, one is not much worse than the other. So why do I dislike one so much and enjoy the other?
Could it be simply because Miley Cyrus is a teenager and I am an adult? I can't think of what else it could be. When I think about it, I don't want Olivia watching Hannah Montana because some of the language is a little salty for a four-year-old (they say "stupid" a lot) and because I don't think that she would be able to understand the context of the sarcasm. So, that's not an issue. She would be fine with just listening to the music.
Lady Gaga, on the other hand, is far less appropriate for a four-year-old to be listening to. The lyrics are more explicit and the themes are more adult because the music is geared to adults. I tell myself that it is really okay that Olivia walks around singing Bad Romance because she doesn't understand what she's singing...but is that really okay? I think so. I have fond memories of singing The Sweetest Taboo in Kindergarten for Show and Tell. While I think my teacher may have been shocked, everyone agreed that it was the best performance of The Sweetest Taboo that they had heard from a 5 year old. (Okay, I may have made the last part up). I just know that when I was up in front of my class with my Fisher Price Moraccas, singing to the tape my mom had made, I loved that song and I loved singing it. I had no idea what I was singing about. I also turned out to be a pretty good person, and still love music.
So, from now on, I'm going to try to keep my prejudices to myself, let her occasionally listen to Hannah Montana, and hope that she doesn't have any idea what we're singing about for a long time.
One day, I turned on some music on Pandora Radio (maybe the best thing ever invented for people who love music) and Olivia started dancing around the living room, stripping down to her skivvies! I couldn't believe it. I got a vision of the future-and it looked pretty terrifying. However, she loves listening to Lady Gaga and even asks me to turn on "The Gaga Lady" when we're in the car. I generally do, too, because I love Lady Gaga too (but it doesn't inspire me to strip down whenever the music comes on)
On the other hand, she loves Hannah Montana, too. One day she asked me to turn on a Hannah Montana song and I reacted with such vehemence that it surprised me. I had to ask myself, what is going on with me? If you listen to the lyrics, one is not much worse than the other. So why do I dislike one so much and enjoy the other?
Could it be simply because Miley Cyrus is a teenager and I am an adult? I can't think of what else it could be. When I think about it, I don't want Olivia watching Hannah Montana because some of the language is a little salty for a four-year-old (they say "stupid" a lot) and because I don't think that she would be able to understand the context of the sarcasm. So, that's not an issue. She would be fine with just listening to the music.
Lady Gaga, on the other hand, is far less appropriate for a four-year-old to be listening to. The lyrics are more explicit and the themes are more adult because the music is geared to adults. I tell myself that it is really okay that Olivia walks around singing Bad Romance because she doesn't understand what she's singing...but is that really okay? I think so. I have fond memories of singing The Sweetest Taboo in Kindergarten for Show and Tell. While I think my teacher may have been shocked, everyone agreed that it was the best performance of The Sweetest Taboo that they had heard from a 5 year old. (Okay, I may have made the last part up). I just know that when I was up in front of my class with my Fisher Price Moraccas, singing to the tape my mom had made, I loved that song and I loved singing it. I had no idea what I was singing about. I also turned out to be a pretty good person, and still love music.
So, from now on, I'm going to try to keep my prejudices to myself, let her occasionally listen to Hannah Montana, and hope that she doesn't have any idea what we're singing about for a long time.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Confirmation-We have done a few things right so far!
My eldest daughter had Kindergarten Screening this morning, and, for some reason, I was nervous. I had visions of us going in with high hopes and seeing them asking her to point to her nose as she pointed to her toes or stack the red, yellow and green blocks and she would throw them at the teacher's head or something. I was hoping that these things wouldn't happen, but, hey, you never know!
Now these are not the usual behaviors for my daughter. There is absolutely no reason that I should be afraid that she wouldn't pass the screening. She has attended pre-school for the past two years and has always passed her developmental milestones early or right on time. I don't know why I was so nervous about this screening but the good news is that she was within normal ranges for all of the screening areas and she passed!
Now the hard part begins. Now I know that I have to start making preparations to let her go for the first time. Now I have to begin to prepare myself for Kindergarten and have to be willing to let her turn into a school age child.
I know that some of this will happen naturally, but I have to work on a few things so that she won't be scared to go to Kindergarten. Here they are:
To Kindergarten, and Beyond!
Now these are not the usual behaviors for my daughter. There is absolutely no reason that I should be afraid that she wouldn't pass the screening. She has attended pre-school for the past two years and has always passed her developmental milestones early or right on time. I don't know why I was so nervous about this screening but the good news is that she was within normal ranges for all of the screening areas and she passed!
Now the hard part begins. Now I know that I have to start making preparations to let her go for the first time. Now I have to begin to prepare myself for Kindergarten and have to be willing to let her turn into a school age child.
I know that some of this will happen naturally, but I have to work on a few things so that she won't be scared to go to Kindergarten. Here they are:
- I have to stop crying every time I think of her going to school every day, all day long.
- I have to face the reality that it is going to happen. Not only is it going to happen, but once it does, I'm going to love it!
- I have to stop saying "I can't talk about it" whenever someone asks me about her new journey into Elementary school.
- I must find something for Maya to do when Olivia is at school. As it is now, when ever she can't find her older sister, she wanders around the house looking in every nook and cranny and whining her approximation of Olivia. She is going to be b-o-r-e-d, I fear.
To Kindergarten, and Beyond!
Friday, May 7, 2010
Some thoughts for Mothers Day
I love my children. I love the way my eldest daughter laughs when you tickle her stomach, the way she insists on "scripted" play, the way she is creative and imaginative and funny. I love my youngest daughter and the wonder and joy she shows when she looks through tupperware lids or bends down and looks at me upside down through her legs.
I know that everyone says it, but I have to say it again. I did not realize how being a mother would completely change my life. I never thought that a hug or a kiss or a simple "I love you" could change the course of my day. I love holding their little hands, watching them learn to write or read, and even teaching them to say words like "poopy" (Maya's new favorite-we're potty training).
Sometimes I have to take time to think about these small miracles because being a mom can be very overwhelming. Being a mom is the ultimate immersion experience. It is really the only thing in your life that you think you are prepared for but suddenly, all of your preconcieved notions of what this experience will be like for you were way off base. Something as simple as giving your baby that first bath can become a completely terrifying thing for you. It was for me.
Before the birth of my first child, I imagined her birth story to be like something from a fairy tale. I would go into labor, she would come flying out into the world with a rainbow and doves and a smile on her face and a coy little chuckle. I thought that the doctor would hand her to me and I would have that infusion of motherly wisdom and love that all mothers have.
Instead, I had a c-section because she was frank breech (which means she came out butt first-mooning the world) and when the doctor held her up for me to see I thought, "Oh, she's so beautiful...Oh shit...I have to take that home with me now! This is REAL!" It was real. It was the beginning of the most intense love that anyone can ever feel. It was hard, too. It still is hard. However, even my worst days as a mom are better than my best days before my children. And no, I never got the motherly wisdom infusion. That happens over time as a result of experience, that's my guess.
After Olivia was born, the nurse came in to discharge me and asked me if I had any questions. I practically screamed at her "I don't know how to give her a bath! What do I do about that umbilical cord thing? What do I do if she won't nurse at home?" and in my head I was thinking "How am I supposed to teach her right from wrong and how to be a good person? What am I supposed to tell her about God and Religion when I don't even know what I believe? What if she doesn't like broccoli or turns out to be a sociopath?" The nurse kindly helped me bathe my baby and reassured me that we could do this. My mom and my friends had to do the same thing over the next few weeks.
Luckily, it's been almost 5 years now since that day, and Olivia is starting Kindergarten in September. I still wrestle with those questions. We try to show Olivia that actions have consequenses, both good and bad, and that she has an effect on the world. We encourage her to think critically and to relax and have fun. We try to be good examples of patience and kindness and are not afraid to admit to our mistakes. Hopefully, when she really needs them, these qualities will be easy to draw on.
Having a second child was different than the first in many ways. I found it harder to allow myself to bond with Maya in some ways because I was afraid that I would lose my bond with Olivia. I think that I also thought that I wasn't bonding as well because I wasn't as terrified that I was going to accidentally kill Maya. (When Olivia was an infant I was continually poking her when she was sleeping to make sure she was really still alive. I was very paranoid! I think I only did that once to Maya.) I had a better idea of the resilience of babies and knew what I was capable of. I was more relaxed and have really been able to enjoy her baby-hood. I think that this shows up in her personality, too, as she is more of a risk taker than Olivia was at that age, and she is more of a tester, too. She is a really delightful toddler and has a smile that could melt a glacier.
I'm not sure how to end this post, but I think I'll finish by saying that motherhood has challenged me and is continuing to help me to grow and become the person that I have wanted to be.
I know that everyone says it, but I have to say it again. I did not realize how being a mother would completely change my life. I never thought that a hug or a kiss or a simple "I love you" could change the course of my day. I love holding their little hands, watching them learn to write or read, and even teaching them to say words like "poopy" (Maya's new favorite-we're potty training).
Sometimes I have to take time to think about these small miracles because being a mom can be very overwhelming. Being a mom is the ultimate immersion experience. It is really the only thing in your life that you think you are prepared for but suddenly, all of your preconcieved notions of what this experience will be like for you were way off base. Something as simple as giving your baby that first bath can become a completely terrifying thing for you. It was for me.
Before the birth of my first child, I imagined her birth story to be like something from a fairy tale. I would go into labor, she would come flying out into the world with a rainbow and doves and a smile on her face and a coy little chuckle. I thought that the doctor would hand her to me and I would have that infusion of motherly wisdom and love that all mothers have.
Instead, I had a c-section because she was frank breech (which means she came out butt first-mooning the world) and when the doctor held her up for me to see I thought, "Oh, she's so beautiful...Oh shit...I have to take that home with me now! This is REAL!" It was real. It was the beginning of the most intense love that anyone can ever feel. It was hard, too. It still is hard. However, even my worst days as a mom are better than my best days before my children. And no, I never got the motherly wisdom infusion. That happens over time as a result of experience, that's my guess.
After Olivia was born, the nurse came in to discharge me and asked me if I had any questions. I practically screamed at her "I don't know how to give her a bath! What do I do about that umbilical cord thing? What do I do if she won't nurse at home?" and in my head I was thinking "How am I supposed to teach her right from wrong and how to be a good person? What am I supposed to tell her about God and Religion when I don't even know what I believe? What if she doesn't like broccoli or turns out to be a sociopath?" The nurse kindly helped me bathe my baby and reassured me that we could do this. My mom and my friends had to do the same thing over the next few weeks.
Luckily, it's been almost 5 years now since that day, and Olivia is starting Kindergarten in September. I still wrestle with those questions. We try to show Olivia that actions have consequenses, both good and bad, and that she has an effect on the world. We encourage her to think critically and to relax and have fun. We try to be good examples of patience and kindness and are not afraid to admit to our mistakes. Hopefully, when she really needs them, these qualities will be easy to draw on.
Having a second child was different than the first in many ways. I found it harder to allow myself to bond with Maya in some ways because I was afraid that I would lose my bond with Olivia. I think that I also thought that I wasn't bonding as well because I wasn't as terrified that I was going to accidentally kill Maya. (When Olivia was an infant I was continually poking her when she was sleeping to make sure she was really still alive. I was very paranoid! I think I only did that once to Maya.) I had a better idea of the resilience of babies and knew what I was capable of. I was more relaxed and have really been able to enjoy her baby-hood. I think that this shows up in her personality, too, as she is more of a risk taker than Olivia was at that age, and she is more of a tester, too. She is a really delightful toddler and has a smile that could melt a glacier.
I'm not sure how to end this post, but I think I'll finish by saying that motherhood has challenged me and is continuing to help me to grow and become the person that I have wanted to be.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Working Out with a Goal
We've been working out lately, using P90X as a way to get fit. We absolutely love it and I am finally in my second brand of size 10 Jeans!! (I have a theory that you aren't really a certain size unless you can fit into more than one brand of that size...) I have now gone from a 16 to a 10 in about 3 1/2 months.
Today, after our Kenpo X (Karate) workout today, my husband and I were discussing a song that was on the radio. It was the kind of song that would play in the soundtrack of a movie as someone was training for a big fight (you would see the people, dripping with sweat, moving in perfect synchronicity in slow motion) and then the action would start. We would walk down the stairs in our house, primed for battle, and open the door to a hoard of zombies and then the butt-kicking would begin!
We have decided that we're really not in training to be fit, we're in combat training to be safe in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Now, to take that a bit further, my daughters have been in the room and have been doing their own 4 year old and 15 month-old versions of P90X, so I guess that they're in training too. So, when the Apocalypse happens, look us up. We will be a troupe of butt-kicking, zombie-ripping, ab crunching maniacs!
I realize now that this post makes no sense but when we were talking about this in the morning, it was hysterical! I'm going to publish this post, though, because I still think it's funny.
Today, after our Kenpo X (Karate) workout today, my husband and I were discussing a song that was on the radio. It was the kind of song that would play in the soundtrack of a movie as someone was training for a big fight (you would see the people, dripping with sweat, moving in perfect synchronicity in slow motion) and then the action would start. We would walk down the stairs in our house, primed for battle, and open the door to a hoard of zombies and then the butt-kicking would begin!
We have decided that we're really not in training to be fit, we're in combat training to be safe in the event of a zombie apocalypse. Now, to take that a bit further, my daughters have been in the room and have been doing their own 4 year old and 15 month-old versions of P90X, so I guess that they're in training too. So, when the Apocalypse happens, look us up. We will be a troupe of butt-kicking, zombie-ripping, ab crunching maniacs!
I realize now that this post makes no sense but when we were talking about this in the morning, it was hysterical! I'm going to publish this post, though, because I still think it's funny.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The Money Jar
Ingredients:
2 Jars (Mason, Spaghetti Sauce, etc.)
Coins
Unruly Child
Step 1. Decide on target behaviors (we decided to work on talking instead of whining, eating meals without complaining, sharing, following directions the first time she's asked and being quiet when I'm on the phone). Assign a monetary amount to each behavior (following directions is worth 10 cents, everything else is worth 5.)
Step 2. Explain rules to unruly child. Explain that if they, for example, follow directions the first time they're asked to do something they will earn 10 cents. Likewise, if they don't meet the targeted behaviors (and start whining, for example) 5 cents from her jar will go into my jar. Also explain that "extra" coins can be earned for super duper extra helpful and kind actions.
Step 3. Watch said unruly child turn into a perfect angel and magically decide that they have to clean up the play room, take her blanket upstairs, and share with her sister. Oh, and be consistent.
Step 4. Call your friend and thank her for the idea because, at least for one day, you didn't have to fight with your daughter. Hug your daughter and love her.
Step 5. Call your mom and thank her for raising you. I don't know about you, but my mom did it all alone-and I don't know how she did it. Love you, Mom!
Remember-change the goals as your child masters them and remember-this is a positive reinforcement technique. The amount of money doesn't matter to the child as much as the fact that they can see items being put in or taken out of their jar. If you don't feel comfortable with money use something else that your child really cares about. We're saving up Olivia's coins to buy a DVD or a Barbie-whichever she decides she wants more.
2 Jars (Mason, Spaghetti Sauce, etc.)
Coins
Unruly Child
Step 1. Decide on target behaviors (we decided to work on talking instead of whining, eating meals without complaining, sharing, following directions the first time she's asked and being quiet when I'm on the phone). Assign a monetary amount to each behavior (following directions is worth 10 cents, everything else is worth 5.)
Step 2. Explain rules to unruly child. Explain that if they, for example, follow directions the first time they're asked to do something they will earn 10 cents. Likewise, if they don't meet the targeted behaviors (and start whining, for example) 5 cents from her jar will go into my jar. Also explain that "extra" coins can be earned for super duper extra helpful and kind actions.
Step 3. Watch said unruly child turn into a perfect angel and magically decide that they have to clean up the play room, take her blanket upstairs, and share with her sister. Oh, and be consistent.
Step 4. Call your friend and thank her for the idea because, at least for one day, you didn't have to fight with your daughter. Hug your daughter and love her.
Step 5. Call your mom and thank her for raising you. I don't know about you, but my mom did it all alone-and I don't know how she did it. Love you, Mom!
Remember-change the goals as your child masters them and remember-this is a positive reinforcement technique. The amount of money doesn't matter to the child as much as the fact that they can see items being put in or taken out of their jar. If you don't feel comfortable with money use something else that your child really cares about. We're saving up Olivia's coins to buy a DVD or a Barbie-whichever she decides she wants more.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
I've turned into an A-word
I think I'll write today about becoming an a-word, no, not that one, an adult-and knowing finally, that you are one. That may not read like it sounded in my head but I think you'll catch my drift in a minute.
I recently had someone say to me that my husband and I have made good choices on how to raise our kids and that she wasn't sure if she and her husband would be able to do that. (In effect we've both stayed home with them at different times-depending on which one was set to make more money) and have been happy with that. We have both worked at the same time, too, but juggled our schedules so that we could have our children in day care the least amount possible. This is in no way a slam on parents who both work or on single parents who have their children in daycare because I, too, have had jobs that I loved and don't know if I would have wanted to give them up to stay home. There have also been times when we couldn't financially or weren't willing to give up one of our jobs and that was the best choice we could make at that time.
What I take this person to have meant was that we have decided to put our personal desires on hold, and have decided to live more simply in order to have these years with our girls. It was not a decision that was easy to make and it has taken us a long time to figure these lessons out.
I really believe that people do the best they can with what they have. We had the luck to live in a place where we could get a mortgage based only on my husband's income and I can work part time when he is home to pay for the rest. We also don't mind doing that and tend to have a blast during our family time together. Our way is not the right way for many others, but it's working for us right now.
So, how do you know that you're really an a...a...adult. That wasn't so painful now, was it? We now sit down together and make decisions in a carefully thought out way. We research. We ask for advice and help. We have to balance out what we want (such as a new deck, a garden shed, a new car) with what we need (food, a home and a newer car...ding, ding...we have a winner!) What we get may not always be what we want but it is what we need at the time. That last part isn't really so different from what it was before but this is the difference-we don't really mind. Kids spend a lot of time being frustrated or upset about what they may not have ("Mommy, I wanted Goldfish in a BIG bowl!") but adults, for the most part, deal with the size of the bowl they are given. And, if they are taught right when they were kids, will thank the giver no matter what the size of the bowl (even if, inside, they know that someone else got a bigger bowl and that's just NOT FAIR!)
Although I may have some frustration around what I want and what I can acutally get I try really hard not to dwell on that. Otherwise, what is the point of making the sacrifices? We all need to be thankful for what we have and own the choices we have made. We need to live in the present but plan for the future. We should all be proud of our adult self. We have made choices to bring us to that point and I'm proud of us.
I recently had someone say to me that my husband and I have made good choices on how to raise our kids and that she wasn't sure if she and her husband would be able to do that. (In effect we've both stayed home with them at different times-depending on which one was set to make more money) and have been happy with that. We have both worked at the same time, too, but juggled our schedules so that we could have our children in day care the least amount possible. This is in no way a slam on parents who both work or on single parents who have their children in daycare because I, too, have had jobs that I loved and don't know if I would have wanted to give them up to stay home. There have also been times when we couldn't financially or weren't willing to give up one of our jobs and that was the best choice we could make at that time.
What I take this person to have meant was that we have decided to put our personal desires on hold, and have decided to live more simply in order to have these years with our girls. It was not a decision that was easy to make and it has taken us a long time to figure these lessons out.
I really believe that people do the best they can with what they have. We had the luck to live in a place where we could get a mortgage based only on my husband's income and I can work part time when he is home to pay for the rest. We also don't mind doing that and tend to have a blast during our family time together. Our way is not the right way for many others, but it's working for us right now.
So, how do you know that you're really an a...a...adult. That wasn't so painful now, was it? We now sit down together and make decisions in a carefully thought out way. We research. We ask for advice and help. We have to balance out what we want (such as a new deck, a garden shed, a new car) with what we need (food, a home and a newer car...ding, ding...we have a winner!) What we get may not always be what we want but it is what we need at the time. That last part isn't really so different from what it was before but this is the difference-we don't really mind. Kids spend a lot of time being frustrated or upset about what they may not have ("Mommy, I wanted Goldfish in a BIG bowl!") but adults, for the most part, deal with the size of the bowl they are given. And, if they are taught right when they were kids, will thank the giver no matter what the size of the bowl (even if, inside, they know that someone else got a bigger bowl and that's just NOT FAIR!)
Although I may have some frustration around what I want and what I can acutally get I try really hard not to dwell on that. Otherwise, what is the point of making the sacrifices? We all need to be thankful for what we have and own the choices we have made. We need to live in the present but plan for the future. We should all be proud of our adult self. We have made choices to bring us to that point and I'm proud of us.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Losing It! Part 2
I have been neglecting my Blog lately as I have found a new obsession-exercise! I have been using the P90 system for the past 70 days and have also been tracking and limiting my calories...and guess what? It's working! Now, after 7 years of being over weight, listless, sorry for myself and generally embarrassed by my body I am finally losing weight and more importantly, liking how I look.
So far, I have lost 22 pounds. Yes! 22! I am able to wear some size 10 pants which I have not been able to do since 2002, and I now only have one chin!
I am now able to control my eating and am able to stop snacking. Actually, until I made a commitment to myself to stop eating while watching TV, I hadn't realized how much I'd been eating and how much junk I was eating. It was horrifying.
The biggest accomplishment now, though, is that I like exercise. Actually, I love exercise. I have never liked exercising before. I have never been "that girl" who got excited by the purchase of free weights (which I am) or by the prospect of working toward doing chin ups (another goal). In fact, much to my surprise, I now watch infomercials for exercise systems and think "ooh, I want to give that a try after I'm done with P90X!" Yes, all of these changes so far, and I'm not done yet.
So far, I have lost 22 pounds. Yes! 22! I am able to wear some size 10 pants which I have not been able to do since 2002, and I now only have one chin!
I am now able to control my eating and am able to stop snacking. Actually, until I made a commitment to myself to stop eating while watching TV, I hadn't realized how much I'd been eating and how much junk I was eating. It was horrifying.
The biggest accomplishment now, though, is that I like exercise. Actually, I love exercise. I have never liked exercising before. I have never been "that girl" who got excited by the purchase of free weights (which I am) or by the prospect of working toward doing chin ups (another goal). In fact, much to my surprise, I now watch infomercials for exercise systems and think "ooh, I want to give that a try after I'm done with P90X!" Yes, all of these changes so far, and I'm not done yet.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Losing It!
I am trying to lose weight. For the past 7 years, I have claimed that my slowly enlarging derriere was the product of my stressful job, disorganized lifestyle, pregnancy, thyroid problems, hormone problems, stress, alien abductions-you name it and it was an excuse for me. Now I have joined a diet plan and have actually lost 10 lbs. through diet and exercise...imagine that!
Now, I know that all of the reasons I listed above do have an effect on body weight and health, but I am a master excuse maker. I am the queen of procrastinators and can talk myself into and out of every action that I ever should take! I don't know how I got this way, but I do have a hunch-I am lazy. LAZY! -at least in this part of my life.
I have made a few pledges to myself. One is to follow through this time and to treat my body with respect. My stomach is not a dumpster-and I should not be shoveling garbage into it all day, every day. The next is to actually do the work to shed the pounds. Unfortunately, at least in my case, this means actually exercising and taking in less than I expend. There go the long nights of snacking on my favorite, beloved snacks such as Hershey's Kisses, Reeses Peanut butter cups and Goldfish crackers. Oh well, GET OVER IT!
This is a new beginning for me. I am taking charge of my health, my weight and my excuses. I will not let them decide for me any more.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Our Baby is Turning One!
My youngest daughter is turning one in a few days. It is amazing to think that a year ago she was not even a separate being from me-she was a tiny baby, dependent on my nutrients and contained within my body. She was a mystery to us, and we looked forward to meeting her and watching her personality form.
Now she is showing her personality and she is even more than I could have hoped for! She has a great sense of humor, appears to be unfailingly curious, loves to play with her sister and our dog, is friendly to strangers but is still a mommy's girl.
We are amazed at how early the sibling friction can be seen. One day, when we were in the car, our eldest daughter was trying to relax and have quiet time. Our youngest picked up on that and kept screaming at her and then laughing when Olivia would say "Maya, STOP YELLING!" Then Maya would yell again and laugh, looking right at Olivia the whole time. Needless to say, my husband and I found that very amusing.
We look back to our four-year-old's first birthday and how far she has come in just three years. At the same time, we try to predict what Maya will be like in three years and have a few theories:
For the record, Olivia thinks Maya will be a princess when she's 4.
Now she is showing her personality and she is even more than I could have hoped for! She has a great sense of humor, appears to be unfailingly curious, loves to play with her sister and our dog, is friendly to strangers but is still a mommy's girl.
We are amazed at how early the sibling friction can be seen. One day, when we were in the car, our eldest daughter was trying to relax and have quiet time. Our youngest picked up on that and kept screaming at her and then laughing when Olivia would say "Maya, STOP YELLING!" Then Maya would yell again and laugh, looking right at Olivia the whole time. Needless to say, my husband and I found that very amusing.
We look back to our four-year-old's first birthday and how far she has come in just three years. At the same time, we try to predict what Maya will be like in three years and have a few theories:
- Wild Woman: She could turn out to be the class clown, very boisterous and talkative. I have a feeling she will be a "look before you leap" kind of person. To be honest, I am nervous about what life will be like with her walking, running and exploring on her own. I think I'll have to get in better shape.
- Scientist: Maybe not a scientist, maybe more of a food critic since everything goes in her mouth. Hopefully that will stop.
- Endurance Runner: Maya watches her sister with rapt attention and clearly just wants to do just what her sister is doing. I think that she will walk for a day and run to catch up with Olivia for the rest of her life.
- Math/Academic Whiz: This is from my personal experience. I had math troubles and was forced under penalty of being whipped with a wet noodle to do math flash cards nightly. As a result, my younger sister knew the times tables, addition and subtraction and how to divide before I really understood any of that. That really ticked me off, by the way. Not enough to learn them but just enough to be really mad that my sister had beaten me.
- Cuddle Bug: Maya is a very cuddly, huggy baby and I hope that continues well into her school years.
Happy Birthday, Maya Papaya!
For the record, Olivia thinks Maya will be a princess when she's 4.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Home Made Spaghetti Sauce
I have recently discovered how to make spaghetti sauce. I don't know if others are like me or not, but a long time ago I made up my mind that I could not make a few things: namely, spaghetti sauce and pie crusts. Now I have found that I can indeed make both of those things! Making my spaghetti sauce allows me to know where my family's food is coming from, what is in it and best of all-it saves us a LOT of money!
Here's how I do it:
4 cans of tomatoes (whole is best but diced will do)
2 cans of Tomato Paste
As much garlic as you can stand
1 onion (diced)
2 tbsp. of sea salt
a dash of sugar (probably about 1 tbsp. or so) more if you like sweet sauce
Italian Seasonings to taste
Optional:
Hamburger
Sausage
etc.
Saute your onions and garlic. Add in the tomatoes and paste. Add all other ingredients and simmer for at least an hour. It will be chunky and, best of all, made exactly the way you like it! We use ours for pasta, pizza sauce, etc. Enjoy!
Here's how I do it:
4 cans of tomatoes (whole is best but diced will do)
2 cans of Tomato Paste
As much garlic as you can stand
1 onion (diced)
2 tbsp. of sea salt
a dash of sugar (probably about 1 tbsp. or so) more if you like sweet sauce
Italian Seasonings to taste
Optional:
Hamburger
Sausage
etc.
Saute your onions and garlic. Add in the tomatoes and paste. Add all other ingredients and simmer for at least an hour. It will be chunky and, best of all, made exactly the way you like it! We use ours for pasta, pizza sauce, etc. Enjoy!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Really Living while on a Budget
I thought that right now, in the beginning of a new year (but not the beginning of a new decade, as a friend of ours pointed out-the new decade does not, in fact, begin until 2011) would be a good time to address the biggest monkey on my back...debt and budgeting. This is not just a sore spot to me, though, most of my friends and even our country are struggling with these issues. I know that there are a lot of reasons for this current economic melt down but believe that if we were brought up as a nation to be savers (and conservers and recyclers not to mention critical thinkers) this situation would not have happened.
When I was growing up, I received an allowance from my mom. I was expected to split it into two envelopes, one for saving and one for spending money. By the end of high school, I had a pretty good chunk of change saved up. However, in the ever amazing wisdom of youth, I spent it all on a car. Now, I loved that car but it was not the best choice I ever made.
Thanks to the two envelope system I grew up with, I have a never ending need to save. I love having money in my savings account. The more I have saved, the better I am able to sleep.
My family, through a few different factors (choice, some poor decisions when we were young(er) and (more) foolish, and some unexpected circumstances) is currently living on a very strict budget. Luckily, we both have jobs, we are all healthy and have had relatively good luck with our cars. We have, however, had to make many adjustments to our wallets and more to our minds to be able to move forward with our finances.
The first challenge to our finances came with the birth of our oldest daughter. We were a two-income family but now had to pay out over $500.00 per week in child care. We did not adjust our weekly spending habits and quickly found ourselves in a pickle. We had very little savings and the same expenses did not realize that even with two full time incomes an extra expenditure of $120 per week would hit the bank account so hard. But we kept on and in time we cut other expenses down and were able to better absorb that daycare expense. Then we started thinking about having another child. Then we decided to move to Hawaii from Maine. Then I dropped down to part-time work (and we worked at different times) so that we wouldn't pay child care any more. Then we were blessed with a second, un-eventful pregnancy. Then we moved back to Maine and bought a house. Then we had our second baby girl. Now it's been about a year since we bought the house and have two children, two cars and I only work part-time.
And, you know what? We are for the most part in better shape budget wise than we were with two incomes. We don't make nearly as much money but we are far more conscious of our money. Before we spend we ask ourselves a few questions:
1. Can we get this used? (except for underwear, diapers, basically anything that touches the nether regions)
2. Is this the best possible deal? Sometimes this is a really hard one to ask myself because I am generally shopping alone with my two children. Anyone who shops alone with any children knows that the biggest hassle of a shopping trip is the CHILDREN! The idea of going to a second shop (which means loading them back into the car for a trip somewhere else and then getting everyone out and re-organized to go into yet another store is a huge hassle). Generally I research my prices and products online and don't go for it until I'm pretty certain that I can get what I need in one place.
3. Do we really NEED this? I admit, this is a hard one for us. We are fairly impulsive people and have a very hard time differentiating between need and want. I am also excellent at justifying why I should buy things. I know this and often have to talk myself out of making purchases while trying to talk myself into making purchases.
4. If we need this, where the heck are we going to put it? This is our newest test. Having two children has shown me that your home will quickly get overrun with stuff. If I don't have a place to put the item, I do not allow myself to buy it. As a part of that rule, my husband recently built a wall of shelves in our basement (from floor to ceiling) We were able to put everything but a few tables and our bikes away on those shelves. We have now set a limit that we will not store anything down in the basement that does not fit on those shelves. That means that before we can get any more stuff, we need to purge what we already have.
These steps seem so common sense as I write them but when going through them it is very difficult to be honest with myself about the answers. However, we have had some really great discussions with Olivia about budgeting, about clearing out trash and toys that aren't used any more and about recycling. We'll keep with our plan and hopefully our country can find a way to make a realistic budget and get some money in the old savings account!
When I was growing up, I received an allowance from my mom. I was expected to split it into two envelopes, one for saving and one for spending money. By the end of high school, I had a pretty good chunk of change saved up. However, in the ever amazing wisdom of youth, I spent it all on a car. Now, I loved that car but it was not the best choice I ever made.
Thanks to the two envelope system I grew up with, I have a never ending need to save. I love having money in my savings account. The more I have saved, the better I am able to sleep.
My family, through a few different factors (choice, some poor decisions when we were young(er) and (more) foolish, and some unexpected circumstances) is currently living on a very strict budget. Luckily, we both have jobs, we are all healthy and have had relatively good luck with our cars. We have, however, had to make many adjustments to our wallets and more to our minds to be able to move forward with our finances.
The first challenge to our finances came with the birth of our oldest daughter. We were a two-income family but now had to pay out over $500.00 per week in child care. We did not adjust our weekly spending habits and quickly found ourselves in a pickle. We had very little savings and the same expenses did not realize that even with two full time incomes an extra expenditure of $120 per week would hit the bank account so hard. But we kept on and in time we cut other expenses down and were able to better absorb that daycare expense. Then we started thinking about having another child. Then we decided to move to Hawaii from Maine. Then I dropped down to part-time work (and we worked at different times) so that we wouldn't pay child care any more. Then we were blessed with a second, un-eventful pregnancy. Then we moved back to Maine and bought a house. Then we had our second baby girl. Now it's been about a year since we bought the house and have two children, two cars and I only work part-time.
And, you know what? We are for the most part in better shape budget wise than we were with two incomes. We don't make nearly as much money but we are far more conscious of our money. Before we spend we ask ourselves a few questions:
1. Can we get this used? (except for underwear, diapers, basically anything that touches the nether regions)
2. Is this the best possible deal? Sometimes this is a really hard one to ask myself because I am generally shopping alone with my two children. Anyone who shops alone with any children knows that the biggest hassle of a shopping trip is the CHILDREN! The idea of going to a second shop (which means loading them back into the car for a trip somewhere else and then getting everyone out and re-organized to go into yet another store is a huge hassle). Generally I research my prices and products online and don't go for it until I'm pretty certain that I can get what I need in one place.
3. Do we really NEED this? I admit, this is a hard one for us. We are fairly impulsive people and have a very hard time differentiating between need and want. I am also excellent at justifying why I should buy things. I know this and often have to talk myself out of making purchases while trying to talk myself into making purchases.
4. If we need this, where the heck are we going to put it? This is our newest test. Having two children has shown me that your home will quickly get overrun with stuff. If I don't have a place to put the item, I do not allow myself to buy it. As a part of that rule, my husband recently built a wall of shelves in our basement (from floor to ceiling) We were able to put everything but a few tables and our bikes away on those shelves. We have now set a limit that we will not store anything down in the basement that does not fit on those shelves. That means that before we can get any more stuff, we need to purge what we already have.
These steps seem so common sense as I write them but when going through them it is very difficult to be honest with myself about the answers. However, we have had some really great discussions with Olivia about budgeting, about clearing out trash and toys that aren't used any more and about recycling. We'll keep with our plan and hopefully our country can find a way to make a realistic budget and get some money in the old savings account!
Friday, January 15, 2010
It's Just a Virus
So we have been sick...in an endless cycle of illness...since October. In October, all of us caught the flu (I suspect it was H1N1 because the seasonal flu was reportedly not attacking yet) and since then we have all been in a slow cycle of mucous, headaches and fevers.
I have been in the pediatrician's office at least three times a month since that time and am beginning to think that our Pediatrician thinks that I have a bad case of Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy! (In case you don't know, that is where parents manufacture an illness in their child because they crave the attention they get). However, at our last spur of the moment appointment for a cough that just won't go away, our Pediatrician reassured me that this is just the course of this year's illnesses, and in fact, she has the same cough. It made me feel better to know that the cough was not, in fact in my 11 month olds lungs, but it is so frustrating at the same time.
I dread hearing those four words from the doctor "It's just a virus.." and being given the advice to keep them hydrated, and have them rest. I know that the doctor doesn't want to over-medicate our children and I know that there are problems caused by over-using antibiotics but I am so sick of wiping snotty noses, washing our sheets and towels in the hottest water possible, disinfecting my house and canceling play dates because every child in Southern Maine is transmitting this horrible never-ending virus. I am at the point that when they get well I just want to put them in a bubble and keep them there through May.
So, until then we will keep slogging through this cold/flu season and work on hand washing, sneezing into our elbows, washing sheets and towels weekly, and I'm going to order two bubbles for my children-any idea how much they might cost?
I have been in the pediatrician's office at least three times a month since that time and am beginning to think that our Pediatrician thinks that I have a bad case of Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy! (In case you don't know, that is where parents manufacture an illness in their child because they crave the attention they get). However, at our last spur of the moment appointment for a cough that just won't go away, our Pediatrician reassured me that this is just the course of this year's illnesses, and in fact, she has the same cough. It made me feel better to know that the cough was not, in fact in my 11 month olds lungs, but it is so frustrating at the same time.
I dread hearing those four words from the doctor "It's just a virus.." and being given the advice to keep them hydrated, and have them rest. I know that the doctor doesn't want to over-medicate our children and I know that there are problems caused by over-using antibiotics but I am so sick of wiping snotty noses, washing our sheets and towels in the hottest water possible, disinfecting my house and canceling play dates because every child in Southern Maine is transmitting this horrible never-ending virus. I am at the point that when they get well I just want to put them in a bubble and keep them there through May.
So, until then we will keep slogging through this cold/flu season and work on hand washing, sneezing into our elbows, washing sheets and towels weekly, and I'm going to order two bubbles for my children-any idea how much they might cost?
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