I've turned into an A-word

I think I'll write today about becoming an a-word, no, not that one, an adult-and knowing finally, that you are one.  That may not read like it sounded in my head but I think you'll catch my drift in a minute.

I recently had someone say to me that my husband and I have made good choices on how to raise our kids  and that she wasn't sure if she and her husband would be able to do that.  (In effect we've both stayed home with them at different times-depending on which one was set to make more money) and have been happy with that.  We have both worked at the same time, too, but juggled our schedules so that we could have our children in day care the least amount possible.  This is in no way a slam on parents who both work or on single parents who have their children in daycare because I, too, have had jobs that I loved and don't know if I would have wanted to give them up to stay home.  There have also been times when we couldn't financially or weren't willing to give up one of our jobs and that was the best choice we could make at that time. 

What I take this person to have meant was that we have decided to put our personal desires on hold, and have decided to live more simply in order to have these years with our girls.  It was not a decision that was easy to make and it has taken us a long time to figure these lessons out.

I really believe that people do the best they can with what they have.  We had the luck to live in a place where we could get a mortgage based only on my husband's income and I can work part time when he is home to pay for the rest.  We also don't mind doing that and tend to have a blast during our family time together.  Our way is not the right way for many others, but it's working for us right now. 

So, how do you know that you're really an a...a...adult.  That wasn't so painful now, was it?  We now sit down together and make decisions in a carefully thought out way.  We research.  We ask for advice and help.  We have to balance out what we want (such as a new deck, a garden shed, a new car) with what we need (food, a home and a newer car...ding, ding...we have a winner!)  What we get may not always be what we want but it is what we need at the time.  That last part isn't really so different from what it was before but  this is the difference-we don't really mind.   Kids spend a lot of time being frustrated or upset about what they may not have ("Mommy, I wanted Goldfish in a BIG bowl!") but adults, for the most part, deal with the size of the bowl they are given.  And, if they are taught right when they were kids, will thank the giver no matter what the size of the bowl (even if, inside, they know that someone else got a bigger bowl and that's just NOT FAIR!)

Although I may have some frustration around what I want and what I can acutally get I try really hard not to dwell on that.  Otherwise, what is the point of making the sacrifices?  We all need to be thankful for what we have  and own the choices we have made.  We need to live in the present but plan for the future.  We should all be proud of our adult self.  We have made choices to bring us to that point and I'm proud of us.

Losing It! Part 2

I have been neglecting my Blog lately as I have found a new obsession-exercise!  I have been using the P90 system for the past 70 days and have also been tracking and limiting my calories...and guess what?  It's working!  Now, after 7 years of being over weight, listless, sorry for myself and generally embarrassed by my body I am finally losing weight and more importantly, liking how I look.
So far, I have lost 22 pounds.  Yes! 22!  I am able to wear some size 10 pants which I have not been able to do since 2002, and I now only have one chin!
I am now able to control my eating and am able to stop snacking.  Actually, until I made a commitment to myself to stop eating while watching TV, I hadn't realized how much I'd been eating and how much junk I was eating.  It was horrifying.
The biggest accomplishment now, though, is that I like exercise.  Actually, I love exercise.  I have never liked exercising before.  I have never been "that girl" who got excited by the purchase of free weights (which I am) or by the prospect of working toward doing chin ups (another goal).  In fact, much to my surprise, I now watch infomercials for exercise systems and think "ooh, I want to give that a try after I'm done with P90X!"  Yes, all of these changes so far, and I'm not done yet.

Losing It!

I am trying to lose weight.  For the past 7 years, I have claimed that my slowly enlarging derriere was the product of my stressful job, disorganized lifestyle, pregnancy, thyroid problems, hormone problems, stress, alien abductions-you name it and it was an excuse for me.  Now I have joined a diet plan and have actually lost 10 lbs. through diet and exercise...imagine that!

Now, I know that all of the reasons I listed above do have an effect on body weight and health, but I am a master excuse maker.  I am the queen of procrastinators and can talk myself into and out of every action that I ever should take!  I don't know how I got this way, but I do have a hunch-I am lazy.  LAZY! -at least in this part of my life.

I have made a few pledges to myself.  One is to follow through this time and to treat my body with respect. My stomach is not a dumpster-and I should not be shoveling garbage into it all day, every day.    The next is to actually do the work to shed the pounds.  Unfortunately, at least in my case, this means actually exercising and taking in less than I expend.  There go the long nights of snacking on my favorite, beloved snacks such as Hershey's Kisses, Reeses Peanut butter cups and Goldfish crackers.  Oh well, GET OVER IT!

This is a new beginning for me.  I am taking charge of my health, my weight and my excuses.  I will not let them decide for me any more.

Our Baby is Turning One!

My youngest daughter is turning one in a few days.  It is amazing to think that a year ago she was not even a separate being from me-she was a tiny baby, dependent on my nutrients and contained within my body.  She was a mystery to us, and we looked forward to meeting her and watching her personality form.  
Now she is showing her personality and she is even more than I could have hoped for!  She has a great sense of humor, appears to be unfailingly curious, loves to play with her sister and our dog, is friendly to strangers but is still a mommy's girl.  


We are amazed at how early the sibling friction can be seen.  One day, when we were in the car, our eldest daughter was trying to relax and have quiet time.  Our youngest picked up on that and kept screaming at her and then laughing when Olivia would say "Maya, STOP YELLING!"  Then Maya would yell again and laugh, looking right at Olivia the whole time.  Needless to say,  my husband and I found that very amusing.  


We look back to our four-year-old's first birthday and how far she has come in just three years.  At the same time, we try to predict what Maya will be like in three years and have a few theories:

1. Wild Woman:  She could turn out to be the class clown, very boisterous and talkative.  I have a feeling she will be a "look before you leap" kind of person.  To be honest, I am nervous about what life will be like with her walking, running and exploring on her own.  I think I'll have to get in better shape.
2. Scientist:  Maybe not a scientist, maybe more of a food critic since everything goes in her mouth.  Hopefully that will stop.
3.   Endurance Runner:  Maya watches her sister with rapt attention and clearly just wants to do just what her sister is doing.  I think that she will walk for a day and run to catch up with Olivia for the rest of her life.
4. Math/Academic Whiz:  This is from my personal experience.  I had math troubles and was forced under penalty of being whipped with a wet noodle to do math flash cards nightly.  As a result, my younger sister knew the times tables, addition and subtraction and how to divide before I really understood any of that.  That really ticked me off, by the way.  Not enough to learn them but just enough to be really mad that my sister had beaten me.
5. Cuddle Bug:  Maya is a very cuddly, huggy baby and I hope that continues well into her school years.  

Happy Birthday, Maya Papaya!  

For the record, Olivia thinks Maya will be a princess when she's 4.

Home Made Spaghetti Sauce

I have recently discovered how to make spaghetti sauce.  I don't know if others are like me or not, but a long time ago I made up my mind that I could not make a few things: namely, spaghetti sauce and pie crusts.  Now I have found that I can indeed make both of those things!  Making my spaghetti sauce allows me to know where my family's food is coming from, what is in it and best of all-it saves us a LOT of money!

Here's how I do it:
4 cans of tomatoes (whole is best but diced will do)
2 cans of Tomato Paste
As much garlic as you can stand
1 onion (diced)
2 tbsp. of sea salt
a dash of sugar (probably about 1 tbsp. or so) more if you like sweet sauce
Italian Seasonings to taste

Optional:
Hamburger
Sausage
etc.


Saute your onions and garlic.  Add in the tomatoes and paste.  Add all other ingredients and simmer for at least an hour.  It will be chunky and, best of all, made exactly the way you like it!  We use ours for pasta, pizza sauce, etc.  Enjoy!

Really Living while on a Budget

I thought that right now, in the beginning of a new year (but not the beginning of a new decade, as a friend of ours pointed out-the new decade does not, in fact, begin until 2011) would be a good time to address the biggest monkey on my back...debt and budgeting.  This is not just a sore spot to me, though, most of my friends and even our country are struggling with these issues.  I know that there are a lot of reasons for this current economic melt down but believe that if we were brought up as a nation to be savers (and conservers and recyclers not to mention critical thinkers) this situation would not have happened.
When I was growing up, I received an allowance from my mom.  I was expected to split it into two envelopes, one for  saving and one for spending money.  By the end of high school, I had a pretty good chunk of change saved up.  However, in the ever amazing wisdom of youth, I spent it all on a car.  Now, I loved that car but it was not the best choice I ever made.
Thanks to the two envelope system I grew up with, I have a never ending need to save.  I love having money in my savings account.  The more I have saved, the better I am able to sleep.
My family, through a few different factors (choice, some poor decisions when we were young(er) and (more) foolish, and some unexpected circumstances) is currently living on a very strict budget.  Luckily, we both have jobs, we are all healthy and have had relatively good luck with our cars.  We have, however, had to make many adjustments to our wallets and more to our minds to be able to move forward with our finances.
The first challenge to our finances came with the birth of our oldest daughter.  We were a two-income family but now had to pay out over $500.00 per week in child care.  We did not adjust our weekly spending habits and quickly found ourselves in a pickle.  We had very little savings and the same expenses did not realize that even with two full time incomes an extra expenditure of $120 per week would hit the bank account so hard.  But we kept on and in time we cut other expenses down and were able to better absorb that daycare expense.  Then we started thinking about having another child.  Then we decided to move to Hawaii from Maine.  Then I dropped down to part-time work (and we worked at different times) so that we wouldn't pay child care any more.  Then we were blessed with a second, un-eventful pregnancy.  Then we moved back to Maine and bought a house.  Then we had our second baby girl.  Now it's been about a year since we bought the house and have two children, two cars and I only work part-time.
And, you know what?  We are for the most part in better shape budget wise than we were with two incomes.  We don't make nearly as much money but we are far more conscious of our money.  Before we spend we ask ourselves a few questions:
1.  Can we get this used? (except for underwear, diapers, basically anything that touches the nether regions)
2.  Is this the best possible deal?  Sometimes this is a really hard one to ask myself because I am generally shopping alone with my two children.  Anyone who shops alone with any children knows that the biggest hassle of a shopping trip is the CHILDREN!  The idea of going to a second shop (which means loading them back into the car for a trip somewhere else and then getting everyone out and re-organized to go into yet another store is a huge hassle).  Generally I research my prices and products online and don't go for it until I'm pretty certain that I can get what I need in one place.
3.  Do we really NEED this?  I admit, this is a hard one for us.  We are fairly impulsive people and have a very hard time differentiating between need and want.  I am also excellent at justifying why I should buy things.  I know this and often have to talk myself out of making purchases while trying to talk myself into making purchases.
4.  If we need this, where the heck are we going to put it?  This is our newest test.  Having two children has shown me that your home will quickly get overrun with stuff.  If I don't have a place to put the item, I do not allow myself to buy it.  As a part of that rule, my husband recently built a wall of shelves in our basement (from floor to ceiling)  We were able to put everything but a few tables and our bikes away on those shelves.  We have now set a limit that we will not store anything down in the basement that does not fit on those shelves.  That means that before we can get any more stuff, we need to purge what we already have.

These steps seem so common sense as I write them but when going through them it is very difficult to be honest with myself about the answers.  However, we have had some really great discussions with Olivia about budgeting, about clearing out trash and toys that aren't used any more and about recycling.  We'll keep with our plan and hopefully our country can find a way to make a realistic budget and get some money in the old savings account!

It's Just a Virus

So we  have been sick...in an endless cycle of illness...since October.  In October, all of us caught the flu (I suspect it was H1N1 because the seasonal flu was reportedly not attacking yet) and since then we have all been in a slow cycle of mucous, headaches and fevers.
I have been in the pediatrician's office at least three times a month since that time and am beginning to think that our Pediatrician thinks that I have a bad case of Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy! (In case you don't know, that is where parents manufacture an illness in their child because they crave the attention they get).  However, at our last spur of the moment appointment for a cough that just won't go away, our Pediatrician reassured me that this is just the course of this year's illnesses, and in fact, she has the same cough.  It made me feel better to know that the cough was not, in fact in my 11 month olds lungs, but it is so frustrating at the same time.
I dread hearing those four words from the doctor "It's just a virus.." and being given the advice to keep them hydrated, and have them rest.  I know that the doctor doesn't want to over-medicate our children and I know that there are problems caused by over-using antibiotics but I am so sick of wiping snotty noses, washing our sheets and towels in the hottest water possible, disinfecting my house and canceling play dates because every child in Southern Maine is transmitting this horrible never-ending virus.  I am at the point that when they get well I just want to put them in a bubble and keep them there through May.

So, until then we will keep slogging through this cold/flu season and work on hand washing, sneezing into our elbows, washing sheets and towels weekly, and I'm going to order two bubbles for my children-any idea how much they might cost?