I think I'll write today about becoming an a-word, no, not that one, an adult-and knowing finally, that you are one. That may not read like it sounded in my head but I think you'll catch my drift in a minute.
I recently had someone say to me that my husband and I have made good choices on how to raise our kids and that she wasn't sure if she and her husband would be able to do that. (In effect we've both stayed home with them at different times-depending on which one was set to make more money) and have been happy with that. We have both worked at the same time, too, but juggled our schedules so that we could have our children in day care the least amount possible. This is in no way a slam on parents who both work or on single parents who have their children in daycare because I, too, have had jobs that I loved and don't know if I would have wanted to give them up to stay home. There have also been times when we couldn't financially or weren't willing to give up one of our jobs and that was the best choice we could make at that time.
What I take this person to have meant was that we have decided to put our personal desires on hold, and have decided to live more simply in order to have these years with our girls. It was not a decision that was easy to make and it has taken us a long time to figure these lessons out.
I really believe that people do the best they can with what they have. We had the luck to live in a place where we could get a mortgage based only on my husband's income and I can work part time when he is home to pay for the rest. We also don't mind doing that and tend to have a blast during our family time together. Our way is not the right way for many others, but it's working for us right now.
So, how do you know that you're really an a...a...adult. That wasn't so painful now, was it? We now sit down together and make decisions in a carefully thought out way. We research. We ask for advice and help. We have to balance out what we want (such as a new deck, a garden shed, a new car) with what we need (food, a home and a newer car...ding, ding...we have a winner!) What we get may not always be what we want but it is what we need at the time. That last part isn't really so different from what it was before but this is the difference-we don't really mind. Kids spend a lot of time being frustrated or upset about what they may not have ("Mommy, I wanted Goldfish in a BIG bowl!") but adults, for the most part, deal with the size of the bowl they are given. And, if they are taught right when they were kids, will thank the giver no matter what the size of the bowl (even if, inside, they know that someone else got a bigger bowl and that's just NOT FAIR!)
Although I may have some frustration around what I want and what I can acutally get I try really hard not to dwell on that. Otherwise, what is the point of making the sacrifices? We all need to be thankful for what we have and own the choices we have made. We need to live in the present but plan for the future. We should all be proud of our adult self. We have made choices to bring us to that point and I'm proud of us.
No comments:
Post a Comment